Beverly's POV:
I woke up slowly to a constant steady beep that pounded at my head.
Opening my eyes was difficult to do considering the fact that they felt heavier than ever. A shiver ran through my body involuntarily as I could start to sense the feelings in my body. I must have slept for a year, at least, that's how it felt.
I was also aware of the pain that shot through my back as I tried to shift my weight to sit up. The immediate response was to wince and pathetically hit my pillow again.
My eyes shifted to my hand that was being held, and a mess of sunset hair laid next to our tangled fingers. Flashes of memory sprinted through my head as I remembered Ed and how glad I was that he is as in my presence.
A smile pulled at my lips, but I was next hit with a pounding headache. I closed my eyes and tried to focus all of the energy into squeezing Ed's hand. His breathing faltered and in the disturbance of sleep, my hand was squeezed weakly as he changed to the other cheek laying on the painfully white comforter of the bed.
I was in the hospital.
My memory was blurry and I was quickly becoming frustrated that I couldn't piece together what got me to this point.
I remembered a man. His eyes were like snakes and I remember the loud sirens of an ambulance possibly, but my thoughts were split and inaccurate.
Slowly, I leaned over to Ed and shook his shoulder lightly. "Ed, hey, Ed," I almost whispered.
He groaned to himself and lifted his head with eyes half open. "Beverly, what time is it?"
"Um, I don't know," I was taken aback by his question, "Noon I think," I guessed.
"Wait," his eyes widened, "Beverly, you're okay," I was quickly wrapped in a hug as he sprang up and squeezed me. "And awake," I shivered at his fingers rubbing strongly against my back. He hit a certain spot and I let out a whimper, pulling away. But he didn't let go.
"Ed, my back," I said weakly.
"Oh," he released me, "I'm really sorry." His hands still stayed on my back, holding me up. "Am I hurting you?" his face was close to mine, searching for my emotions. I felt myself go hot.
"No, I'm just a little lost. What happened to me last night?"
I was let go and rested back onto my fluffy hospital pillows.
"Do you not remember?" he asked quietly sitting down and keeping his eyes on the ground.
"No," I said plainly. "It's a bit unnerving really." He didn't answer and I watched his eyes bore into the ground without blinking. "Ed."
His head snapped up, seeming to question why I was talking to him. "Huh?"
"Are you going to tell me or what?"
His eyebrows furrowed and my stomach dropped. It was beginning to worry me. "I don't know how to tell you this."
"Well just rip it off like a band aid." I remember my mom telling me that everything was better if you pulled off the band aid quickly. It had been my policy since I could remember. "I want to know."
"We went out..." he said slowly.
"And," I urged on.
He cleared his throat and reached for my hand. "You got really drunk, Beverly."
"I've gotten drunk before," I searched his eyes, "There's something else."
"Um,you went off with a man while you said you were in the bathroom. I couldn't find you for a while, but I searched and you were in the back. The man had drugged you and raped you." His breath became weak and my hand was let go, feeling cool from the sudden exposure. "It's all my fault and I'm so sorry."
I sat back onto the pillow that happened to be way too stiff, but the sudden news distracted me. "Why are you sorry?" I asked, looking at him again.
Our eyes met as his eyebrows furrowed. "I let you go when you were knackered. I should have kept track of you in some way. That's not safe. I should have been smarter."
"I don't need to be tracked," I said sternly.
"God, Beverly I know. That's not what I meant. I mean... I don't even know. I just want you to be safe and I could've prevented this."
I felt my mind go completely blank. "Can you just give me some alone time?"
"But, I want to keep you company," his soft voice mumbled.
"I need this, Ed. Thank you, but please."
Once again, our eyes met and I swore my heart cracked. How could one man be so sinister, and the one I was with could be so...warm.
He shook his head while looking down at his lap, almost unable to believe that he would let me be alone. As he stood up, I watched his hands hold onto the chair for support.
A shiver ran through my body and my stomach dropped. His hands. I remembered the man's hands. There wasn't a full thought, but I remembered the feeling of hands gripping parts of me too strong for my comfort. But everything was so blurred. Like looking back on a nightmare, but not being able to see a defined face.
"Oh, God," I mumbled and immediately Ed was sitting on the side of the bed.
"What happened?" he asked with the worried tone that made me sick.
"I remember him," I croaked out through a dry throat.
"Enough to describe him to the police?" he asked rushed.
"No, just... his hands. They were so strong and scary."
I don't think he thought it through, but his hand reached out to touch mine as I stared out into space. I gasped a little a retracted my hand quickly.
"I'm sorry!" he said, immediately feeling guilty about his action.
"You're fine. I just can't."
"I'll leave you," he looked me in the eyes again. "Only if you want."
I sighed to myself and decided, " Yeah, I think I need some time."
"Okay, that's fine." He smiled weakly in my direction and stood up from the bed, shifting my weight and leaving me feeling empty. Before I could register, I felt his breath on my cheek and a gentle kiss was placed on it. I flinched at first, but once my body recognized Ed's, I sunk into the action, as quick as it really was.
In that second, I felt a warmth spread through me as my eyes began to sting for the millionth time. My eyelids fell closed and the tear that slipped out was wiped away. "I'll be back later," he said softly.
I kept my eyes shut. If I looked at him in those eyes I would most definitely break down, and I didn't want that whatsoever.
"Okay."
The door shut and I was left to sink back into my pillow. My fingers felt numb and I could feel my pulse through my entire body. I wanted to feel something. Anything. But nothing came. It started to register that Ed had left, but I had wanted his company. I needed my friend through this. I needed his soft expressions and comforting hums of though. I needed his music and the warmth that swept through the room when he was present.
I let my knees come to my chest and arms wrap tightly around them, enable to move in any other way.
What had I done?
I let that man take advantage of me.
I probably liked it.
What had I done?
I had done this to myself.
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Guess who's out of hiding. It's meee. I'm so sorry to anyone who I have mad upset by not writing or being active, but this has been a terrible 4 months or so in my life. Not like I haven't said that before, but this certain situation in particular makes it impossible for me to be creative enough to write good stories for you guys. So I'm sorry if you have lost hope in this book or in me. I hope you enjoyed. Leave a comment and/or drop a vote. I love you all,
Stay beautiful ❤ :) x
