Irrational, Infectious, Intemperate

Chapter Three

I opened my eyes, and harsh light attacked them. Above me was a stark, white colour with fluorescent beams shining down on my surroundings. I was squinting, and I slowly sat up - I had no idea how I had gotten to lying on my back though. I had no clue where I was or, as a matter of fact, who I was. I looked around and took in my surroundings.

I was lying - now sitting - on what seemed to be a hospital bed. The bed had a metal frame, and plain sheets. They were so light a blue that it was almost grey. The room was quite small, with off-white walls and - probably in an attempt to brighten up the room - a striped rug covered the middle of the limited floor space. A desk and chair was in one corner with a single sheet of paper and a pen laying abandoned on it. A digital clock was to the left of the desk, bearing the time as 10:53. Above the desk was window, and there were bars around the outside.

I looked down and saw a band around my wrist. I turned it around, hoping to gain some sort of knowledge. There was a name, James Cassells. I presumed that this was my name - why else would I be wearing it? Turning it around to the other side, I saw Psychiatric Ward. I got out of my bed, and walked over to the desk. There were no personal items anywhere, nothing to remind me who I might be.

I looked out of the window, and there was still nothing to trigger any memories, or give any indication to where I was. I looked down at the piece of paper. On it was a sticky note:

Write about your dream - Ben

I sat down and picked up the pen. What dream did this "Ben" mean? I had no recollection of sleeping, let alone dreaming. I placed the pen back down next to the page, tapping my fingers on the wooden desk.

I had been with someone. I could only remember his eyes, and the way that they scrunched up when he laughed, as I cracked joke after joke just to hear his laughter. I couldn't remember his name, or his face, only his eyes. They were a rich brown, flecked with lighter shades. They were framed by short lashes, and they were always sparkling mischievously. My mind had conjured up a face, but I knew it wasn't his. Another thing that I did know, and I was positive of this fact, was that he wasn't here anymore. He had been mine, and now he was gone.

And it was my fault.

I looked up at the stark ceiling, knowing it was my turn to leave. I went to my bed, knowing where to look. I took my pillow out of its case, finding the rip that I didn't remember making and plunging my hand in. I felt around for the small capsules I had hidden there, pulling them all out and spreading them on my sheets. There must have been weeks, months worth of pills.

I put five in my hand, thinking about the poor man I had killed. Maybe not personally, but my actions had done it. I swallowed the pills, downing them one after the other. Tears ran down my face, and his eyes haunted me, the life slowly draining out of them. I finished the deadly tablets about a minute later. No turning back now. I walked over to the desk, shaking from the sobs that were racking my thin body.

I grabbed the pen, placing it on the paper and making harsh lines as I wrote two words.

I'm sorry.

I would have added his name, except I had no clue what it was.

'I'm so sorry...' I mumbled to myself. At least I was paying for my actions now. 'I'm... sorry,' The world was becoming fuzzy, and I stumbled to the bed, laying down and curling into a ball. I heard a knock at the door, and I turned my head in interest. I was going to die, there was no doubt about that in my mind, I may as well look at another human being while I did so that I knew I wasn't alone. The person walked into the room and I gave myself a countdown.

5...

The room was spinning crazily and the stranger looked at me...

4...

The first thing I noticed were his eyes, rich brown and flecked with caramel...

3...

They chilled me to my core. They were the exact same eyes...

2...

His mouth dropped open and he yelled my name...

1...

'James!' I smiled sickeningly at him, and my countdown still continued. I had underestimated the time it would take me to die.

'Goodbye,' I breathed.

My eyes slowly closed and from what I could still see, the darkness was invading my vision. My brain felt fuzzy and numb, and my breathing was shallow. The man leaped forward, most likely in an attempt to stop me from dying, but it was too late. I exhaled one last time, my name once again ringing in my ears, and the mysterious man's face, contorted into a look of shock and fear, burning my eyelids. But what would he fear? I was no longer going to harm him.

A/N

Okay, so as I said at the very start of this, can you please, please, please comment your thoughts?? Thank you!! :)