Today I was running a 1500m race for my club. the race was taking place at half past 3, and i will tell you now, i was the weird mixture of terrified, excited, nervous and calm.
Yeah, thats a wierd mix ain't it??
My PB (or Personal Best) for the 1500m race is 5 minutes 32 seconds. Today was the day i was looking to beat that. Earlier this season, i ran a 1500m race for my school and i did it in 5minutes, 39seconds, so i was also pretty confident about this race, and what i could come out with.
So there i was, running the race. Striding and going at my own pace, I knew i wasnt coming out with 1st place, since i was in 7th. but today was about time, not place. I was on the home straight, i looked up and i saw the clock 4.40 something, i sprinted, seeing the clock ticking as i did, glancing up every now and then to check. I crossed the line and I looked at the clock properly, I'd run it in 4.48.85. You would not believe how happy i was, and how much in shock i was. I went to my club area and told them after i'd told my grandparents who had bought me to the track since my parents are away.
You wouldn't believe how happy they were. I went to get my stuff from the side of the track wneh i was called back by some other members of my group. lets call them anna, sophia and their guy friends, or brothers, whatever their realtions were.
"So you say you did it in 4.48?" Anna asked.
"Seems so." I replied.
"You know they stop the clock when the first runner crosses the line?" Sophia asked rather, whats the word? Snarky.
"No, they didn't. i saw it ticking." i replied. then started walking away when i was called back.
Anna sniggered "seriously, you do realise they stop the clock when the winner is done?" The way she said it was very off-putting, and thats when my chest started to drop, i knew they were doing this to bring me down.
"I saw it moving." was all i said. and then i went off for my stuff, i heard them all laughing behind me. I got my top, and my long joggers to put on, and i did. The group of people that included anna and sophia went past me as i was talking to my grandparents, and pulling my hoodie over my head. I heard them chuckling. God it ticked me off.
I decided i was gonna check the sheet aswell, id have done it anyway, for a photo and to just have a look. So i waited for the results to be put up. It wasn't on, i was reading through the u15s race, since i was suposed to be in that, but was upgraded to u17. The group came bahind me, and were taling about... me. well, noit talking, more like bitching about me. one of them said "you cant do 5. 32, and then 4.48." I turned around to the male individual of the group and told him stright; "that record was set two years ago actually, a lot can happen in two years." He shut up, and that group walked away chuckling, snorting and snbiggering to themselves in amusement
About 10 minutes later the officials did put it up. During this time the group had been loiteing around the board, messing around on the podemon, walking around and the such. The sheet came out and i was so nervous. if it wasn't 4.48.85, i would never hear the end of it. It would be a real shame to, since all i've ever been to them is nice.
The sheet came out and was pinned on the wall.
i traced down the sheet.
1st place - (*name*) (*club*) - 4.48.85.
They had stopped the clock when the winner crossed. My heart dropped, i traced down to my name.
7th place - (*name*) (*club*) - 5.27.56.
I was gutted. there was a crowd around me to see the new results aswell, amongst the crowd the group that were just being plain horrible. i did a double-take, and walked to where my grandma was, my grandad a few meters in front. I know its pathetic, but i kinda felt like crying. i thought i ahd just samshed my record! it was heart breaking. but i held it together as i told them.
We reached he car and i texted my friend to ask her to tell our coach to change the time he wrote down by my name, and i put my phone away. My grandpernts were going on in the background about how proud they were, and that it was a hard hard race i had just ran and how well i'd done in it. I honestly didnt feel like i'd done well.
My parent abroad then decided to call.
I was talking to them and almost choking up when i told them of what i thought my time had been, and what it really was. they also went on to tell me how proud of me they were. i still didnt feel proud, i feel sucky.
When the call ended my grandma turned back and said; "You just have to ignore them Zee, they're just not worth it. That was a very, very, hard and fast race, and you did fantastically well." I gave her a sad smile, not because i was feeling sorry for myself-or because of what i was expecting for tomorrow when i run 800m for the club. I gave her a sad smile because she didn't understand just how gutted i was.
"With people like that," she continued "you just have to ignore them. they are just not worth it. they are really just rather pathetic." She rambled on for a bit. "You are supposed to be in u15s, you were put in u17s. thats teo years just starting with!" my grandad then decided to join in and asked, "Zee, what was your time in your first race this season?" I told him it had been 5.39. "12 seconds!" he then exclaimed. "You ran 12 seconds faster!!" i pondered this for a second, he was right. "thats something to be proud of anyway!! Today is unusually hot, you were in a race that had people two years older than you in, and it was your first counties!" he exclaimed. I was suddenly a lot happier. "If you can knock off 12 seconds each race you can be in Rio!" He knows i want to go to the Olympics, i have since i was little. I smiled, my grandmother went on about previous fun runs we've been on and my previous races. I was getting happier and happier, and even more exhauted. "Next time they say anything, you just need to turn around and say; i ran a race with people older than yourself in, i ran the best i could in that race and i made a mistake about the time. and then walk away Zee, thats all you need to do." I was already going to say that if they kept up with it - i was not going to go through a period of bullying all over again. Though i was going to add that i had only ever been nice to them and they had no right to penalise me over my incorrect time and unforunate mistake. Not to mention, i had carried Sophia accross the line on one occassion.
And you know what, i was suddenly OK.
So i guess all i'm trying to get accross with this story is that, no matter where you go, there will be people that just want to put you down, its a sad truth, but its there, and that, no matter what, you have to believe in yourself. i was rather stubborn because i refused to believe fully until the results sheet was up that i'd not got the time, and i let the group get to me for a period of time. However, if i had believed in myself, i would've been able to just brush it off and move on.
And now here i am, typing up todays story, on my bed with the laptop on my... lap, and happy with myself. I'm now ready for waht tomorrow brings, and im ready for whatever -wether it be the track or the group- can be thrown at me.
