Painting Genevieve

Chapter 2

"Have you thought anymore into what college you want to go to?" Jonas asks me for the fiftieth time. We always get into the topic.

"No I'm still waiting for letters back from colleges. And I'm still considering which ones." I roll my eyes. I know he doesn't mean any harm, but he can be so clingy. I already know what he is about to ask me.

"What about the college I'm going to?" He gives me his boyish grin that I can't help but smile at.

"No. I haven't heard back from them." Lies. "Maybe they just don't want me." I lied because he gets so excited about the thought of us going to college together. Of course I applied there, and I have received an acceptance letter in the mail already. I would love to go to the same college as Jonas not only because he is my boy friend and best friend, but also because I would know and have a lot of friends. It would all be way to.. familiar. I want something else. I want to be able to experience other things, different places, and different people. And if I decide that I don't like what's out there then I can come back. I know I will always have people here because to me this is home.

"Genie are you in there?" Jonas snaps a finger in my face, pulling me out of thought.

"Oops sorry! I guess I'm not all here right now." I look around at my surroundings and find that he has changed positions and moved to the other side of my bed.

"What's going on Genie? It feels like you have been distant lately. You know you can tell me anything." He reaches down and gently grabs my hand. He rubs his thumb in small circles on the back of my hand.

"Yeah I know. I guess I have just been kind of stressed with school, and then there is going to be college also.." I start trailing off.

"Hey you don't need to stress over anything! Just focus on the time we have left in highschool and then it's off to Colorado University!" He is squeezing my hand and I can see the excitement in his eyes.

"Yeah I guess you're right. Everything is already planned out." I know I just totally missed my opportunity to tell him that I'm considering different colleges, but he just gets too excited and he looks like a little boy.

He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. "I have to go, but I will call you later. There is nothing to stress about. You and I will do this together. Just like we always have." He places a hand under my chin and tilts it up so that I'm looking at him, and leans down and kisses me on my lips. It's short, but sweet. His lips are always soft. He leans back and smiles at me one more time before heading towards the door.

"Jonas..." He turns back and looks at me. I need to tell him. I'm just making it harder if I wait until later. "See you later." I'm a coward.

"Always." He replies and continues out of my room. Closing the door behind him.

I fall back onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling. "Why do I do this to myself?" I ask out loud. Like I'm going to get an answer from one of my stuffed animals that my parents gave me. Wow I'm talking to inanimate objects now.

I turn over and grab my phone and see I have a message from Libby.

"Have you told him yet?" The text she sent mocks me as I just stare at it.

"No. I'm a coward. I had the perfect opportunity, and I didn't tell him."

I pull a pillow towards me and shove my head into it. I know I should probably be doing homework right now, but I just can't focus on it. Instead of doing something productive, I grab my sketch book off of my side table. I can atleast vent my feelings through my sketches. I grab a pencil and release everything into this one sketch and I block out everything else. Nothing else matters here. Only this pencil and paper and whatever flows out of my mind.