Say it with me ☽
☾ Karmella
"Say it with me now..." Anna started to say looking around at us all.
We nodded our heads waiting to hear what she had to say.
"I'm beautiful and I deserve respect." She said making us all recite what she said.
"I'm beautiful and I deserve respect." I copied her not believing it at all.
I feel like these exercises she gives us aren't working at all. Maybe I should just give up, I mean there's no point in being here if it's not working for me. I know I promise Jacob I would stay but maybe I can't be fixed...
"Karmella.." Anna called my name out.
I turned towards her. "Yes?" I asked with a eyebrow raised.
"I want you to tell us all why you're here. Everyone knows why everyone is here except for you. We all have different problems that we need to get over." She explained to me.
I nodded my head before I began to speak.
"Well, I'm here because I have a hard time accepting myself. I've been through a lot and when I was younger I was put through hell. I was told that I wasn't beautiful repeatedly and I guess I started to believe it a long time ago." I told them all making sure to make eye contact with Kamryn.
She held her head low in shame.
I guess Anna seen what was going on and she decided to say something.
"Kamryn, is there something you want to tell us?" Anna questioned with her hands on her hips.
Kamryn shook her head. "No." She mumbled looking everywhere but at us.
"Mhm okay." Anna said.
You could tell that she didn't believe her because of the look she gave her.
"Karmella, can I talk to you after this meeting is over?" She asked me.
I already know what she wants to talk about.
I nodded my head. "Yeah, sure."
"Okay let's go on with class..." She continued on.
***
"What did you want to talk about?" I questioned coming over to Anna as she leaned against the wall."What happened between you and Kamryn?" She asked raising her eyebrows.
"I would rather not talk about it." I stated nervously playing with my hands.
I wish I could just forget what she did to me but I can't. She made high school hell for me. Sometimes my mom would have to force me to go to school.
Anna grabbed my hand and rubbed it soothingly.
"It's better if you talk about it. You can't just keep things like this inside. If you don't want to talk we can always talk later. I'll be here if you need me." She told me about to walk away from me.
I quickly turned around. "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else." I said grabbing her hand.
She nodded her head. "Everything between us is confidential. Everything." She assured me.
"Maybe we should sit. We're gonna be here for a while." I told her gesturing towards one of the seats.
"Okay." She said going over to a chair and sitting down.
I went over to the chair beside her and sat down.
"Well it all started when I first met her..."
***
I told her everything. I told her about how we first met, how she bullied me , and what happened when we last seen each other. I was nearly in tears by the end of our conversation. Worst three and a half years of my life.
"Awww sweetie. I'm so sorry for all of the things you had to endure." Anna said pulling me into a hug.
I wiped a tear away as I hugged her as if I wouldn't see her again.
"I still haven't gotten over it. I'm still upset by the things that she did." I replied back.
She released from the hug.
"You have to forgive her. Not for her but for you. You're not gonna be able to let go of anything until you forgive." She told me making me nod in agreement.
"I think I'm gonna need a little help with that."
"I would love to help you forgive her so you can move on with your life." She stated wiping a tear falling on my cheek.
I have to forgive her so I can move on.
___________________________
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