Perfection

"I......"

December 12th, 2015

Hah, from the beginning I knew that the relationship we would share would be complicated. A sixteen year old living with a strange man, approximately seven years older
( He's actually really never established his age, but he sure as Hell doesn't look anything close to a thirty year old )
When I started developing feelings for him, you bet there were a lot of things going through my head. For a teenager to love a man, the age difference would be seen as a sin. No matter how hard I tried to push away those intimate feelings, those feelings of love and desire and just wanting the elder to kiss my lips with every bit of passion he had, I couldn't. I could never look at him as a father figure. His touch was just too gentle... Too loving...
It's as if he was falling in love with me, and he was, but we had to maintain our morals. Now that I think about it, I didn't understand why we did. It's not like I feared that God would judge me for it, I stopped believing in God when I realized that he just doesn't give a fuck. When you spend two months living on the street, you realize a lot of things about the world.
I couldn't stop having those feelings and one day, I just succumbed to him, I exploited all my thoughts and I was the most shyest little thing while I did so, it was pathetic but he thought it was cute.
Dam he makes me blush.
------------------------------
"Sebastian... May... May I talk to you?"
I said with an unease in my voice, we were both sitting at dark oak table in the kitchen, silently eating breakfast when my heart suddenly just wanted to pour out all of my emotions. He looked up from his cereal bowl, those crimson eyes pouring into my very soul, God those eyes, God this man. Every glance he gave me, the way he smiled, the way he moved, the very scent of him, it made my heart flutter.
"You sound so uneasy, Ciel. What is it you wish to talk about?"
He replied with that handsome smile that perfectly formed on his lips, that smile could cure cancer. Dam it, I never admired anything so much until I met this man.
"I......"
Was all that would slip from my mouth, the darkest blush you could imagine forming on my cheeks. You know what that cheeky bastard did? He leaned over the table, completely disregarding the fact that he could spill his own cereal bowl. He leaned over and whispered the most pleasing words that I could ever possibly hear in my entire life.
"I love you too, Ciel Phantomhive."
--------------------------------
If I could describe our first kiss, it would be as amazing as the biggest firework show in the universe, the way his lips tasted were sweet like this exotic yet delicious dessert and you could only taste it off his lips. The way our lips moved together in sync, the way his tongue filled up my small mouth, completely dominating me and swirling around inside as if searching for the deepest emotions that I felt for him. If I knew what heaven was, or what it felt like, I swear that kiss would be it.
That wasn't the only first that occurred to me that day.
Both of us had been consumed by this mixture of love and lust, this want and desire, that kiss became deeper, so much deeper. In mere moments I felt his strong arms wrap around me so lovingly that if he were to let go I would have crumbled on to the floor, he made me that weak in the knees. He lifted me up with such grace, with such ease, as if I weighed nothing at all. The best part was our lips never pulled apart as he carried me up the wooden stairs of his home, our home, up into the bedroom where his smell, the scent of him resided the most. Perhaps it's an odd thing to say, but that scent was utterly intoxicating, swallowing me up and making my heart beat so fast that I feared it would burst.
The scent of him reminded me of my favorite flower, white roses, sweet and elegant, yet not overpowering. Simply perfect.
I've mentioned a lot how perfect Sebastian is, and it's because it's true.
I soon felt myself lowered against the soft mattress of his bed, I couldn't see, only feel for my eyes were closed as I lost myself in our kiss. I could feel him, hovering over me, his face so close to mine that those black locks tickled at my cheeks ever so gently. His hands begin to wonder, his digits pulling up at my shirt, as if desperate to see what lied underneath.
"H-hah... Sebastian..."
The virgin that I was, I was so sensitive to every dam touch and he knew it too, he took advantage of it to bring the uttermost pleasure I could imagine. His digits skimmed my smooth, at that moment fully exposed chest, his other hand pulling down my sweatpants so they pooled at my ankles.
"N-no...."
I murmured against his lips, why you may ask? Well for a good reason, I was a virgin, both in the homosexual way in the heterosexual way. No ones ever been inside me and I've never been inside anyone. You can imagine that I'd be a little fearful of having someone push inside me for the first time.
Sebastian didn't even need to ask when I muttered that one word, he completely understood and that relieved me more than I thought it would. He sat upon, his muscled back leaning up against the headboard, his arms pulling my naked self into his lap. My back was pressed against his muscled chest, my breathing hot and shaky with this need that I've never truly experienced before, the need to be pleasured by someone else.
That was the first time I've ever had someone, let alone a man, make me feel bliss.
The way his palm wrapped around my length, the way it squeezed and stroked it, jerking me off so gently but in a way that drove me so crazy that I couldn't help but scream. I was putty in his hands, completely vulnerable to the pleasure he bestowed upon me.
I came in mere minutes.
The very thought of what he did to me
It turns me on.