retweet //obaria au//

Consumeth Thee in Thy Twitter

"Barack!"
"What the hell do you want this time you blast-ended skank?" Obama hissed between his teeth at the woman he was supposed to love. Like he could ever love Michelle; their marriage was all for publicity. He hated that bitch, who only bossed him around and told him he was being lazy.
"Get off your lazy ass and address the riot in Uganda immediately! We must get involved in other countries' businesses! Can't miss this opportunity."
See?
Barack was never cut out to be president. He was forced into running and people voted for him because of his skin color. Have to make history, Barack! Have to be important, Barack! The truth is, he barely did anything. So many people hated him for being him, and soon, he began to hate himself.
Barack stood up and sighed. He would say the same old bullshit to the press: yes, it's awful, and we will/will not be sending troops over to intervene. Whatever the little speaker in his ear tells him- usually Michelle. He walked over to his closet and pulled on his suit, hiding his Marvel underpants. After a quick comb of his wig, he was ready to meet the public.
Barack had always had a problem with public speaking. His social anxiety often made him freeze up, but he has grown quite well at covering it up. Still, it was often difficult to stand up and talk to a nation that despises you.
After a few more screams from Michelle, Barack took to the podium.
•
Barack heaved a large sigh and flopped onto the couch, taking out his iPhone 6S. He had recently been trying to connect more with the younger generation via social media. Instagram, Snapshat, Vine, YouTube, WattPad, Kik, Wattpad... all very amazing and very confusing apps. But his favorite by far was Twitter. He just felt this connection and drive to tweet. It was what kept him alive. His notifications were blown up with hate, as usual. He was used to it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. How could so many people hate one person so much?
Another notification. Fuck it, why not hate himself even more? The tweet was from @ warpedmuke_:
"@BarackObama ay nyellis is bi af pass it on to the pope"
Her profile picture was pure sex. 3 days? What's happening in three days? He could only wonder. And what does warpedmuke mean? What is the story behind that username? There must be something, along with those eyes. Why is she laughing?
Barack was in love. Suddenly he wanted to know so much more about her than any middle aged man should ever want to know about a fifteen year-old girl. Who was Nyellis? What does af mean? Aflack? Ass fajita? Aqua fox?
Without thinking, Barack hit the ReTweet button.
Little did he know how much that tap of a finger would change his life...