I stumbled up the stairs that led to Harry’s flat and searched for his door. I took a deep breath before gingerly knocking. A few moments passed so I decided to knock again, this time louder. A few more seconds passed before the door swung open to reveal a worried Harry.
“Elena what’s wrong? It’s almost midnight.” He asked in a mixture of concern and shock.
“Do you think I could crash here tonight?” I asked in a shaky breath.
“Uh-yeah come in.” he said as he moved aside to let me in. He led me to the couch and sat me down before asking “Why here?”
“I can’t go home.” I slurred.
“What about Eleanor’s?”
“She’s having sex with Louis.”
“Why can’t you stay with Zayn?”
“Because he’s with his mom,” I explained, “and I’m just a friend.” I sobbed into Harry’s shirt.
He shushed me and rubbed my back as if I were an infant in need of lulling to sleep. The tears finally stopped pouring but a wave of nausea hit me. I felt like my stomach was doing flips and my face started to get hot.
“I don’t feel so good.” I mumbled.
Harry led me to the bathroom and I no sooner reached the toilet when I began to empty the contents of my stomach into the bowl. As I continued to vomit tears began to stream down my face again. I probably looked like a wreck but I couldn’t care at this point. I felt Harry pull my hair back and the cool air hit the back of my neck as I began my second round of vomiting. When I was finally done I didn’t have the energy to move from my position lying on the floor hugging the toilet.
“No one loves me,” I sobbed, “why doesn’t anyone love me?”
“I’m sure lots of people love you.” Harry responded in either sympathy or pity, I couldn’t tell which.
“No. No one does. My own parents don’t even love me.” I replied in a barely coherent babble of sobs and sharp inhales.
“That can’t be true.”
“But it is. My dad didn’t care for nineteen years and my mom just gave me up the second he asked, she didn’t even try to fight for me. The worst part is…I honestly thought Zayn loved me. But he didn’t, I’m just a friend.”
“You are a lot more than a friend to him.”
“Really? Because that’s all he told her, I’m his friend, and now they’re in his flat eating the pasta that I made for him so that I could have a romantic dinner with him, when all along I was just a friend!”
I broke down in sobs and Harry tried to say something again, but it fell on deaf ears I was too far gone to pay any attention to anything that wasn’t circulating in my head.
“How could I be so stupid? I should’ve known that he could never actually have feelings for me. He’s Zayn Malik for god’s sake! It was probably all just a game to him! See how fast he could get me hooked. A guy like him would never go for a girl like me, he’s perfect and I’m just a hot mess. It was probably just a joke to him; he’s probably laughing at me right now.”
“He’s not laughing at you.”
“Why doesn’t he love me?”
“He does love you.” Harry cooed.
“But he doesn’t,” I replied as I slumped myself across the cool tile floor, “that’s the problem.” I nearly whispered through a strangled sob as I drifted from the world around me and blackness took over.
YOU ARE READING
Saving Grace
Fanfiction19 year old Elena Anderson's life was turned upside down when she was ripped from her home in New York city to live with her Dad in London, England after a suicide attempt. She's better for the most part but her snobby 14 year old sister tests her...
