Fear simulations

Fear Landscape #1

I inject my neck with the serum. I'm ready now. I close my eyes, waiting for the first fear.

A strong gust of wind pushes against my side making me loose my balance, as I fall to my knees. I'm hundreds of feet up and I can barely even see the ground. I look down to see what I'm standing on. I'm standing on nothing. It's invisible.

Whatever it is.

My breath gets faster as I start to panic. The cool wind keeps pushing at my side. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I try to calm myself down but it doesn't work. I have to make the simulation move on..

I have to face this fear of mine. Heights.

I push myself up, slowly. Or at least I attempt to. The wind is as strong as ever. With fear coursing through my veins, I try and jump.

No. I don't even jump, I just lean toward a little bit, as if my whole body is paralyzed, then there's the fall, the air is so cold that it hurts. I feel so weightless, just dropping into space. Then the scene around me disappears.

I find myself in an empty, pitch black room. Nothing happens. There must be something. I look around. All of a sudden , walls slam against me, so hard I feel like my bones are getting crushed.

I'm in a box.

Oh my god. Confinement. I try to breathe. Breathe, I think. The walls are still closing in on me, even tighter. I can't take it anymore! I start yelling for help. I know no one's there, but I can't help myself. I need to distract myself. Distract myself of the feeling of being a trapped animal in a cage.

I close my eyes. I think of.. the beach? No. I find beaches gross with people half-naked, the litter everywhere, the burning sun. Not my thing. But I.. I like reading. I guess.

I try counting to one hundred. At 64, I open my eyes, and find myself back in Dauntless head-quarters. I did it. And now I have to do this again tomorrow.

But I will be prepared for what I will have to encounter. I always am.