➶aʟʟ ɨ աaռtɛɖ➷[ON HOLD]

| ċʟօsɛ քʀօxɨʍɨtʏ |

From the moment I first saw that little brown wolf she had been a gift to me. Keira gave me something to wake up to every morning and fight for. She gave me a purpose. I fought and killed to build up a pack that I knew would ensure her safety and I was still fighting to protect it...protect her. Everything I had done was for her.
And then Angie came, changing it all. She was a cool drink of water in a never ending harsh desert. I let her create a wedge between Keira and I. I let her pull me away from Keira and I will never forgive myself for that. Keira had blessed me with her forgiveness even after it was I who nearly got her killed. I started out wanting to be her hero, all that she would ever need. But, the reality was that Keira was my hero. She's all I need and all that I want. She was my blessing and what would surely be my downfall.

➹ʝɛʀɨċɦօ➴

It was hours into the night before I got enough courage to walk back into the room where Keira slept. The only source of light in the room came from the parted curtains that hung limply against the window where faint light from the moon and stars dipped inside filling the room with its pale glow.
A lump wound up in covers moved up and down at a steady pace as Keira slept. I just came to check on her; that's all I'm here for. She's fine and I should leave, but I felt an unseen pull that caused me to yearn to be closer to her. I shouldn't be here.
My feet moved on their own drawing me closer and closer to her sleeping form until I was standing directly above her. The covers were pulled up all the way to her chin and her wavy ringlets of dark hair cascaded against the white of her pillow appearing as a dark halo. A dark angel. The bright light in my dark world. My angel. No. Not mine. She could never be mine.
Her lips were fixed into a slight pout while she slept and a smile quirked up the corners of my lips remembering how she used to do that when she was still a child. My hand moved outwards reaching out to graze against the soft skin of her cheek. Warmth was felt on my fingertips and soon filled my entire body from just touching her cheek. I dared to trace her nose, jaw, then ever so slowly feathered my fingertips over her lips. They were so soft and I remembered how they felt f*cking perfect against my own, even just for that small second. I would never forget the intoxicating feeling of her lips against mine.
"Mmm," a small moan came from her body that created stirrings inside of me,"your fingers are cold." I retracted my hand as if I had been burned and watched as her eyelashes slowly opened and gave way to her dark eyes.
"I'm sorry," I quickly apologized,"I didn't mean to wake you up." She gave a small yawn then rolled onto her back turning her head to face me.
"It's fine. I don't like sleeping anyway," she murmered in her sleepy state.
"You need your sleep to help you heal. I'll, uh--see you in the morning," I fumbled stupidly from being caught watching her sleep.
"Stay with me," she murmered. Dear gods. Why did she say that? Those three words had my wolf clawing in the back of my mind trying to get out...to be with her.
"I promise I won't bite," she added and I felt burning heat course through my body and flush my cheeks. I was blushing. I was actually blushing like a f*cking school boy. Dear gods. She didn't know what she was doing to me, or maybe she did. I drew out a heavy breath and rubbed the back of my neck nervously suddenly feeling myself break out into a cold sweat.
"Jericho? Jericho, are you alright?" Keira called out to me taking notice of my distressed state.
"I, uh--don't think that's such a good idea," I explained.
"Okay," Keira said simply and I felt my shoulders relax,"I'll just get someone else to keep me warm." Her words had me stiffen again and burn even hotter from rising anger. My wolf fought to get out and I found myself on the other side of the bed crawling into the bed while kicking off my shoes in under five seconds. It wasn't until I was under the warmth of the covers, the warmth that came from Keira, that I realized what she had done.
I cocked my head to the side and found Keira staring at me with a tiny smirk hidden at the corner of her mouth. That sly little vixen.
"You tricked me," I said lowly and tried to hide the small smile that pulled at my lips.
"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," Keira's voice had grow soft and hearing it stabbed at my heart. I yearned to hold her, to take her pain away and protect her, but I knew I had to protect her from afar. I was no good for her.
"No, no I want to stay," I was quick to reply. I shouldn't, but I wanted to stay. I relished being this close to her. Keira gave me a small smile then moved closer to my side pressing her small body against my larger one. My arm securely wrapped around her drawing her even closer to keep her warm and she placed her head on my chest. The vanilla-mint scent of her hair filled my nose warming my senses and caused my wolf to purr and relax from just being close to her.
I was well aware of how close we were now and even more aware of how perfect we fit together. Well, if we--if we did ever fit together. If we--if we-- Oh f*ck, what am I saying? Fit together? My gods she was making me lose my mind.
Keira hummed comfortably against my chest sending vibrations throughout my body and filling my blood with liquid fire. I swallowed nervously when Keira's hand splayed out onto my chest that was thankfully covered by a shirt. I don't know what I'd do if her bare skin was against mine. My mind dangerously wandered to that thought and I felt my body grow even hotter from the thought of her bare skin against mine...our bare bodies against each other...moving in sync...
"Jer?" Keira whispered to me.
"Hm?" I mumbled and stopped the images that had started to play through my mind. Dirty.... Sexy...steamy...naked...
"Are you okay?" She asked with concern in her voice.
"Uh--yeah," I cleared my throat,"I'm fine. Why?" I looked down to find her gleaming brown eyes watching me.
"You're sweating like a pig," she stated. Oh.
"It's getting a little hot in here." I quickly replied trying to come up with a good lie.
"Nope. It's kind of cold in here. Maybe you're just nervous," Keira pointed out and my heart began to thrum wildly.
"Me? Nervous?" I let out a shaky, weak laugh and Keira quirked up her lip with an amused smile. "What would I be nervous about?"
"I don't know. You tell me," Keira said slowly then settled back against my chest and began drawing designs over my shirt. She didn't know what she was doing to me, or maybe she did. That little vixen. Just when I felt myself losing control, Keira stopped the innocent movement.
"Goodnight," she whispered then leant upwards and placed a small kiss to my jaw. Her warm, plump lips sent tendrils and shock waves of heat from that area throughout my entire being warming my heart and soul. It felt like warm sunshine against my skin filling me with its warmth on a cold day. It felt like seeing a rainbow after a storm. It was so innocent, yet that small kiss had just begun to unwind the ropes I had tied around my heart.
Keira was the only one who held a special place there, yet I had to admire and care for her from a distance. I was so close to her, but still so far away and that was how it needed to be to keep her safe. I would only hurt her again and I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her again. I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt or made her cry again. Staying away, locking up those feelings I forbid myself to feel for her, was becoming an almost impossible feat.
Keira had changed me, she broke me down and was the only one I let in. I was f*cking terrified that she would break through again and even more terrified of what would happen if I gave in. I was terrified of loving her. That one word set me on edge: love. It was too pure and good of an emotion, a blessing, for a beast like myself to ever have and share with someone. She deserved better. Keira deserved the best and the best sure as hell wasn't me.
"Goodnight," I whispered and kissed the top of her head feeling her body melt against mine as she drifted off into sleep. I followed not long after, finding that Keira only seemed to follow me in my dreams.

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~thedarkling