She's Alright

CHAPTER 2

I wiped my eyes as I came out of the bathroom. No more crying. My life will not involve crying anymore! It can't. As I walked down the carpeted hallway toward my guitar I thought about the ride on that disgusting muggy airplane. The feeling of getting away from my past. It felt nice.

I was nearing the sleek black guitar that my aunt and uncle had given me for my 16th birthday, one of my better birthdays by far. I grabbed the neck of my guitar and opened the door. Sitting down on the first step leading up to my porch I began to play The A Team.

"White lips, pale face breathing in the snowflakes. Burnt lungs, sour taste. Lights gon-" Some guy from across the street was staring me. He had dark red hair and pale skin, I could just catch a glint of green in his eyes. I nodded my head towards him but he had disappeared. I decided to go back inside and turn on the TV iPad in hand going through my tumblr feed.

After watching two reruns of Adventure Time (yes an 18 year old girl can watch and LIKE Adventure Time), I decided that seeing Finn's fruitless attempts to woo PB was enough and I shut off the TV. I checked the digital clock connected to the receiver and was shocked when I saw the orange numbers that formed the time 8:45.

Now I am what the kids these days call an 'adult', but going to bed early is fun. I get to dream. So while I fish for PJ's in my suitcase I catch a flash of red in the corner of my eyes. I look outside my window and see the guy from earlier today. He's across the street in what I assume to be his room because his shirt and pants are off.

"Woah," I mutter looking at his abs. Then almost as if he can sense me the boy turns around and I get whiplash from moving my head away. After I get dressed in a baggy Beetles shirt and a pair of PJ shorts I start to feel like rolls of fat are coming off me. I grab at my stomach frantically and immediately drop to the floor to do 200 crunches and 100 squats. It's tiring but I have to otherwise I wouldn't get skinny.

After I stand up from my last crunch, my thighs and stomach start to dully ache and my cheeks are stained with dry tears. None the less I go into the bathroom and squat down next to the white porcelain bowl that I have come to appreciate. I take my index and middle finger and shove them all the way down.

By the time I'm done I lye on the floor sobbing. "Get out, get out get out!" I scream punching my stomach. This sort of thing only happens on my bad days and so I'd like to preface what is about to happen with telling you I've never done what I'm about to do.

Running into my bedroom I rummage in the little bag of toiletries that I brought. I find what I was looking for. My razor. I quickly disassemble it and go back into the bathroom. My hand is shaking as I quickly drag the shiny thing across my wrist, bringing up blood. I continue to shred thinking, "This won't ever happen again, promise yourself Macy. It won't ever happen again."

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As I snuggle in bed I realize that it's 9:00 just early enough. Which makes my lips twitch up as I bring the covers over my head, an old childhood habit. I fall asleep quickly and start to dream.

It's dark in my dream. I'm near the ocean, I can feel the salty mist on my face, but it is pitch black.As I walk I keep stepping on jagged rocks, cutting and puncturing my feet. Yet I still walk. I hear a mocking, evil laugh, slowly spreading out around me. But I don't get scared. Nothing comes near me. Then I step forward and everything changes. There is a shock of white light and I see a boy, no a man I guess. It was the redheaded guy from across the street. I was shocked, but even more so when he said, "You. Are. Beautiful."