Forevermore ~Gaara~

Chapter 11

Gaara was confused. What did Honiji's magic ability have to do with her sister's wedding? He knew the premise of casters ability. Chakara latches onto a certain aspect of a person's personality, allowing them to use elemental magic in place of things like ninjutsu. Generally speaking caster specific people are rare. Usually, people who initially trained to be ninja, but either got hurt or couldn't make the cut continue in school and study a specific element. Honiji is caster specific though, she was born to do magic, never could be a ninja.

Her magic is weirdly hindered though despite her fantastic history of being a light manipulator. Light casters are rare. Light has to have a lot of joy and innocence to latch onto. Which after meeting and getting to know Honiji he could understand how she could be a light caster. Looking over at her carefully, he saw her sweet little smile as she worked on a white piece of cloth by hand.

But then he noticed something he never had before. Looking closer at her grey eyes, Gaara noticed a certain amount of emptiness... like she was lost.

Honiji looked up then and noticing Gaara's stare felt her cheeks heat up slightly. "Yes?"

"It's interesting to watch you work." Nice save, Gaara thought. But it was the truth too. "Your fingers are fast, and you work like you've been doing this all your life."

This felt vaguely familiar. She could remember them having a similar conversation once before. But Honiji felt her face warming evermore despite that fact. "It's the one thing I can do that never changes."

Gaara was slightly confused by her choice of words. The one thing that never changes? "What do you mean?"

It was then that Honiji realized what she had said and all the color drained from her face. Remembering hurt. It was a stab to her chest that made her feel like she would throw up. The cold sweat came up and she felt her hands begin to seize. The pills. She was to late, she couldn't get to them in time. But she couldn't let Gaara see. No one can see the secret she hides.

Seeing Honiji's change, Gaara grew extremely worried ad stood from his seat. "Honiji?"

He couldn't know. It's her best kept secret. She doesn't want anyone to worry. Honiji stood and ran to her room, her hands on her head ready to cover her eyes the moment she was alone. But Gaara's hand caught her arm and halted her escape. No. No no no nononononono. It was too late.

Honiji dropped to the ground and covered her eyes tightly as everything went numb and her ability to breath became almost non-existent. Tears streamed down her face through her fingers. Gaara was scared. He had never seen a panic attack before and didn't know what to do. But that's when he noticed her begin to curl up and rock slightly. Protection. She doesn't feel safe.

Warmth circled Honiji's body as her mind focused on air, trying to get it back. She couldn't think anymore. Her hands were seized and her face and all the way down to her toes tingled to the point she didn't think they would ever stop. But she was warm. Gaara was holding her close, safe.

Generally speaking, when someone has panic attack, the first thought is not to hug them. Which is good. Because for a lot of people that would only make it worse. However there are also people like Honiji who find peace in being held. She never thought it could feel like this. She had always hid so she wouldn't bother anyone, but this... was nice.

What felt like hours to Honiji was really only a little over a minute. Her breathing began to even out and the tingling subsided. It would be a few minutes before she could stand or move her fingers though. The sign it was over was her hands dropping from her eyes. But neither attempted to say anything. It was the first time Gaara had held Honiji...

Both thought this. Both never wanted it to end. It felt weirdly... right. They fit together so perfectly, nothing had ever felt more right. Gaara's arms tightened slightly around her and she gently laid her head on his shoulder.

He hated to do it, but Gaara knew it had to be done. No matter how nice this was, there was no denying what had happened just a few minutes before. "Honiji, we need to talk about this."

Her heart thumped hard. "No."

"Honiji-"

"I said no!"

When she tried to get away from him, Gaara held tight. There was no way he was letting her get away from him, not now. He grabbed her and made her look up at him. "I want you to trust me. We're thinking about getting married, Honiji." Honiji tightly squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't. It's her secret. And telling him made her feel like se was asking for help. But she knew how to handle this now. "I've thought for awhile now. I want you to open up to me. You are a mystery and while I want you to be comfortable, I also want you to understand I'm here. I'm right here and I want you to be able to talk to me."

She knew that. But at the same time... she was scared. Honiji was so afraid to open up to him. Because she knew what happened when you open up to the wrong people. "Okay... okay... But I... can't tell you everything. Please just let me tell you what I can."

Gaara let out a breath. It was a start. And that's all he asked for. However, it ended up being more than he ever could have believed it to be.