Forevermore ~Gaara~

Chapter 12

Honiji put two prescription pill bottles on the table and sat down across from Gaara. This was the most she felt capable of explaining, but she was beginning to feel... better about telling Gaara this. "This bottle I keep on me at all times unless I'm home. It contains a very important pill that I need to suppress my anxiety when it flares up." She let one roll out onto her hand. It was the blue pill he had seen her swallow on her first day of school. "These I only have to take when I feel an attack coming. Very handy. This bottle is a daily medicine that I have to take." She paused and took a long, calming breath. "It's depression medication."

Gaara was stunned. He knows Honiji can be reserved and shy, but in all reality, she's a happy person. But he listened to her explanation further. "I was diagnosed last year, try to keep it to myself mostly. Only a few people know on the off chance I forget to take it. Which doesn't happen much anymore. The tale signs I forgot is excessive sleep, lack of motivation, and lack of appetite." She spilled one out on her hand. The red pill shined brightly in the kitchen light above them. It was a cheerful sight for something that suppressed something... not so cheerful.

"Anxiety is a problem I have always faced. It's a hereditary problem I get from my mom. The depression came up almost to suddenly. And I hid it very well and got advice from my doctor on how to deal with it and keep it from effecting my life too much..." Her eyes became gentle and thoughtful.

"But it did effect your life. It took away your magic." Honiji's hands clenched tightly as she hung her head in an attempt to hide. "Last year is when you said you were diagnosed?" She nodded. "Was it around the time your sister got engaged?" Now her head popped up. But Gaara remained calm as he pulled the documents up that Kaita had e-mailed him. "Your extended transcript has your participation grade becoming almost non-existent in magic studies around the same time as your sisters engagement. This is also the same time you were diagnosed with depression."

Honiji hung her head again. But this point... it was almost useless to hide anything from him. And she couldn't bring herself to talk about it. It was like poison in her mouth saying HIS name, thinking about what he did, what he said. Honiji never told her Father. Because she could already feel it. His wife knew. And she was loving it. That absolutely terrible human being was just enjoying every minute she watched Honiji suffer because of what that man did.

And of course she wanted to protect to Junko. But the fact is, Jun is a much stronger person than she. At twenty years old that woman has more than proved she can think and act like a king. She can do everything that's expected by herself. She doesn't need anyone's help or protection.

"I love my sister. I'm happy she's getting married. I'm not happy with the person she is marrying."

"Does she love him?"

"Ew, no." The face she made cause him to snort in laughter. Seeing his slight smile brought out her own. It was funny to think about. Not her loving the man she was to marry. Just the idea of Junko falling in love period. She such a stern and serious person. In fact, Honiji couldn't think of a time she ever saw her sister laugh or smile. But it's not that she's a bad person to be around. She's just very.. emotionally detached.

Gaara watched her smile as she thought. His observations over the past week have caused him to realize that Honiji is not someone who really knows how to fight back or stand up for herself. But she's not weak. And he was coming to enjoy that special charm of hers. He froze for a second. Stop it, he told himself. Certain feelings can not exist yet.

Half of their grace period is over. And... Gaara was willing to take her as his arranged bride. But Honiji had yet to profess if she was alright with the arrangement or not. And he knew she still had a week. But inside he truly hoped she would say yes.

"Oh. I almost forgot. Tomorrow I have a meeting outside of the village, so you will be here alone."

"What about Temari and Kankuro?"

"They go with me as guards."

"Oh..."  Honiji's face fell. He knew she would be lonely and really wished he could call off the meeting. His hand covered hers gently, making her look up, cheeks red.

"I'll come home as fast as possible. I promise, you will have someone to say goodnight to."

The honesty in his face and voice was almost heartbreaking. And Honiji knew she could trust him.