Story of My Life

Age 0 (newborn - 11 months old)

Yeah. This chapter is dedicated to Bree (LindeMint).^_^ STAY AWESOME AND UPDATE YOUR STORIES!

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I already talked about my newborn life in the last chapter, so I'll skip ahead a little bit. Not much, just a little. Okay? Okay. (Ha! The Fault in Our Stars reference!)

This happened when I was about...9 months, I think? I'm not entirely sure of the exact number. Sorry. ANYWAY, my parents decided to take me (and my siblings, of course) to the beach. I mean, we were vacationing in Florida. Why wouldn't we visit the beach, especially when my aunt's pool was broken or something? Seriously...my parents took my siblings to the beach. All of us were under a year old, except Chucky. James was barely old enough to be allowed on the beach. Still...we went...

It didn't go smoothly.

First of all, think about it: Four babies. Babies wear diapers. We were staying for the whole day, or at least planning on it. Yeah. We had to bring a zillion diapers to the beach...and binkies...and food. Diapers and binkies and food, oh my! (Sorry...I had to...) Everyone probably looked at us like we were insane. I mean, I'm not saying we weren't, but yeah...

I'm not kidding when I say this. Right after we set all of our stuff down, BOOM! Carly started crying. She didn't like the sand or something. Chucky, on the other hand, instantly fell in love with it. Well...actually he fell in love with the ocean. He tried running to it, but kept falling. My dad was going mad trying to chase after him, leaving Mom in charge of two crying kids (James had caught the tears) and a crazy baby who liked throwing sand. Aka, me. Hey! NO JUDGING. I WASN'T EVEN A YEAR OLD YET!

After Dad finally got Chucky, Mom put all of us babies into our mini seats and gave us our binkies (me)/snacks (Chucky)/bottles (Carly)/toys(James). We were sitting near the water, and Dad was explaining the "floating concept" to me, as simple as he could, as interesting as he could. I thought it was pretty cool, especially after I saw a girl floating on a raft, and two boys playing catch in the water, and the ball never sinking, even if it -gasp- touched the water! I even decided to try it out...by throwing my pacifier into the ocean. Bye bye binkie! Then I started to cry, because I had thought that I lost it. I made Dad go dive into the water to get it. We went home soon after.

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Advice: NEVER TAKE BABIES TO THE BEACH! IT WON'T END WELL! XD

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That isn't the only exciting thing that happened to me when I was under a year old. Want me to tell the other stories? There are two. Okay then, I'll share. If you're not interested, stop stalking and leave. :O

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The next one took place when I was 10 months old. Dad took the boys to some kind of Dad and Me event, leaving Mom home with me and Carly. My aunt and uncle were over at the house for whatever reason, and given that Carly was asleep, I was getting a ton of attention. My uncle was drinking wine, and he stood up for a second to get a little picture book for me. He set his wine down on the table, and my aunt was watching TV. My mom had her eye on me, but was mainly listening for Carly crying (to see if she has woken up or something).

I think you know where I'm going with this.

I didn't know the wine was bad. It looked like delicious grape juice! I didn't take a huge sip...well...I kinda did. It was big for someone my size, at least. I spit it out right away and started screaming and crying. Mom got me a juice box to wash out the taste, and kept asking me how much I swallowed and if I had to throw up and stuff like that. (Just for the record, I actually only swallowed 2% of what I took, and I did not have to vomit.)

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The last one isn't as blackmail worthy, but it's still...errr...how about you just read it? ;)

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This was actually only a couple weeks after the wine incident. I was watching Dora the Explorer with my cousin Alyssa. Dora asked, "Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go?"

I yelled, "THE MAP!" at the top of my lungs. And you know what Dora said? She said, "Louder! He can't hear you." I got annoyed. I told Dora she and her map needed to learn to listen better and they had horrible ears... then I hit the TV.

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I think I mighta said this before, but all of these stories are 100% true. I'm not making any up, and I'm not lying. xD And yes...I was a VERY interesting child. As you could tell from this chapter. =P

~Lisa