My Husband's Boss

Chapter 13: Taking Control

I stare down and watch as steam rolls off my body and water puddles at my feet. "Hey mom." I mutter. "Lena. Hi, is everything okay?" she asks. "Uhm.. Everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you. I haven't heard from you in a while. I miss you guys that's all.." I ramble as I look at my clouded reflection in the mirror. She clears her throat "We miss you too, and we're great. Your father is doing so much better. He's been going to therapy three times a day now and it's doing wonders." she says yawning. "That's great." I say a slight smile twitches on my face. My sadness begins to mix with a happy memory and tears begin to fall down my cheeks. 

A memory of my father cheering me on after teaching me how to throw a football in our front yard pops into my mind. He was always teaching me how to do guy stuff that I was never really interested in. Even though he never said it to me as I grew up I began to realize that he wished he had a son to do manly stuff with. But he didn't love me any less because of wanting a son, in fact I think he cared for me more because no matter what I was his only child. "It is. So, what's the matter?" she asks boldly. "Nothing mom... I just wanted to hear from you guys that all..." I say unconvincingly. "Lena you can lie to me if you want but we both know something is wrong. I can tell you've been crying. Now tell me what is it." she begs. 

"It's just..." I say. Should I tell her? What am I thinking of course I shouldn't tell her that her daughter is an unfaithful whore. My mind scrambles for a believable lie. "I'm just- I'm just worried about the wedding you know?" I stutter somewhat truthfully. I'm such a coward... "Oh sweetheart! Don't worry it's natural to feel a little  nervous about this. I should know I loved your father more than anything but that didn't stop me from feeling sick, nervous, and scared. I was freaking out right up until the moment I actually said I do." she exclaims. "Really?" I ask trying to sound invested in the topic. "God yes. Getting married is probably the scariest thing you can go through, besides child birth. Now that's on a completely different level." she says giggling. "I can only imagine." I respond lamely. "You'll know soon, I'm sure. But what has you so worried now?" she questions. 

"Well... Sterling went to Japan for a business trip two days ago and I just started thinking about how long we have been together you know? Then I started to think about life after we get married. And I couldn't help but freak out when a comment he mad about cheating on me popped into my head when we were on the phone, it didn't bother me at first bu-" I say. "Lena, I understand you're worried but don't let that turn you into a crazy person. Sterling would never cheat on you. He loves you more than anything. He would never do something as terrible as cheat on you because he knows it would break your heart. Neither of you will ever do that to each other." she says reassuringly. 

 My body begins to tremble. But I have cheated on him mom, I have... Stay collected Lena. "I'm trying not to but what if it does happen, do I just forgive him for it? We've been together for so long I couldn't blame him for wanting to try something new before we get married?" I say secretly crying out loud about what I had done. "Do you love him?" she asks. "Yeah." I utter to her. "Then trust him. This is the same boy that snuck into the house every time you were sick to feed you soup and hold you. The same man that has been there for you for over twenty years." she says. 

"You're right but mom... Can I ask you a question?" I ask turning my back to the bathroom sink and sliding down against it to sit on the floor. My butt settles in a puddle of water. "Anything." she responds. "Have you or dad ever cheated on each other?" I mutter. The phone grows silent. "Why would you ask me that?" she remarks. "I was just wondering you don't have to answ-" I say. "No. We haven't. Are you trying to tell me something Lena?" she asks accusingly. "No! I'm just wondering you guys have been married for like thirty-five year-" I say. "Thirty seven years" she announces. "I'm sorry, thirty-seven years. Anyway I was just wondering how you guys kept it going so long. I would never cheat on Sterling but I know guys are different. I don't know if he'll always find me attractive or want to be with me for the rest of his life." I lie.