Youth (Camren)

Chapter 3

I had 15 stitches, I was lying in bed sulking, my head was in so much pain I wasn't thinking straight, I had wanted to be friends with Lauren, why is she so violent and rude? My eyes started to dampen as tears dripped down my cheeks, SHE did this to me! SHE pushed me into a freaking table and told me to fuck off, it's not my fault she's a bitch! I ball my hands into a fist, punching the air and scream. Why am I angry at myself for her ,she has always been like that, wait noo... That's mean, she has every right to be mad at me, I invaded her privacy, I don't know what made her the way she is but I can't blame her for it. I place my head on my knees and feel the salty water run down my thighs, soaking in my own sadness. I didn't hate Lauren after what she did,why couldn't i? I could never hate Lauren. She was so beautiful and her eyes were like green oceans, she's so mysterious , wait what am I talking about , Im not making sense to myself, I don't know what to do. I moan in confusion.

I really thought that I could become friends with her but she's just so frustrating and confusing.
I hold my hands to my face, rubbing it in frustration.

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Friday,
Lauren wasn't here so I couldn't exactly apologise to her, for splitting my head open? Yeah I guess I should apologise, it's Lauren. I corrected myself for being a bit rude on my thoughts of her. I was sitting at her desk today but I'm not sure why, it just appealed to me. I looked at its glossy wooden top and saw engravings made by a pen. Some were illegible others were alright, some were short quotes from movies and some were depressing phrases.
I placed my hands under the desk naturally and moved them from side to side when something shark tore at my skin, I yelped and pulled away , I felt carefully under the metal bar of the desk and slid out a small cold object, I brought it into the light and what I saw made me choke , a blade , a cold metal blade. I just sat and looked at it , my breathing uneasy.
"Camila are you alright?" Ms .Krause said calmly.
"Umm... Yeah sorry miss" I stuttered
"Would you care to join the class conversation then."
"Yes sorry miss... Umm .. Miss... Where is..umm... Lauren today." I awkwardly stuttered.
" I don't know her parents didn't call, I'm not sure but she is the last person you should be worrying about, you should be worrying about your English assignment at the moment and I suggest you don't get involved with that girl for you own safety."She said a little but impatiently. I slid the metal into my jean pocket and tried to shake off the images coming to mind.

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The next day I walked into class and there was a dark figure sitting at Lauren's table, she was back, my heart beated faster and I was worried if she saw me she would attack me. But she looked up and just glared.

The lunch bell rang and I waited for her to leave room, before descending out of the classroom door. I grabbed my bag and put it in my locker. I headed for the toilets. I entered the stall and did my business, I flushed the toilet. I was washing my hands in peace until I heard a few sobs coming from the stall on the far end of the bath room. I tried to ignore it until the sound responded "I know you're there Cabello" She sobbed.
*cabello* LAUREN.
"Lauren...are you okay?"
I heard clanking sounds as Lauren unlocked the stall and slowly shuffled out, her make up streaking across her pale skin. She smiled sadly.
" Camila, I'm not okay, im worthless and my wrists are ugly, life's just really hard." She croaked. We sat on the bathroom floor facing each other.
" Lauren .. Laur, i don't know how to help this situation, but I can sure tell you that you are worth a lot and your wrists aren't ugly, I think it expresses emotion in a horribly way but I think you're gorgeous and intelligent and WORTH IT." I said truthfully a few tears welling up in my eyes.
Lauren looked up at me, her green orbs darting into my eyes. I smiled.
" I think.." Was all I could get out before I felt a pair of soft, tender lips crash onto mine, I was in shock but soon became comfortable with the situation, her hands cupped my face, the gesture was sweet and made my heart flutter, I rested my hands on her shoulders until she pulled away.
"Fuck you Camila...." She growled before bursting out of the bathroom. Leaving me a confused mess, why was she so angry? why did she kiss me?

In class Lauren sat with her head on the desk, sleeping probably, every time I looked over my head would flash back to the time in the bathroom and I would feel confused. Lauren lifted her head and caught me staring at her , she glared at me like I had done something horrible and it made my stomach wrench.

The dismissal bell rung at the end of the day to summon the ens of the school year and I left the room first , my stomach felt like a punching bag, Lauren was abusing me, psychologically and I couldn't bare it for any longer, I ran out of the doors , tears streaking my cheeks , I let my legs carry me home as a cried into my jumper sleeve. "Camz...camz" I heard Lauren's voice and my sobbing grew more frequent, I turned on the balls of my feet and yelled.
" what kind of fucking game are you playing at Lauren !" I choked, my blood curdling.
"I ...I "
"Exactly, you have no answer , you just enjoy toying with me and making me feel like shit , I barely even know you and you have already gotten to me , I guess I made a huge fucking mistake by even considering I could be your friend." I screamed.
"Camz, listen I'm sorry , I don't know what's up with me , I've never acted this way towards someone." She said and I scoffed.
"Really? You've never pushed someone into a fucking desk ? knocking them out , not apologising, I've done nothing wrong, I even told myself it was my fault when clearly you're to blame." Tears were staining the pavement.
"Listen...I'm sorry ,I'm sorry I put you in this situation and that I hurt you, fuck I'm so sorry ." She said choking on her words, her eyes becoming misty.
"Why are you even bothering Jauregui, it's not like you give a shit about me."
"I do , fuck I care about you , I really like you Camila , you make me tingly and happy as fuck , I don't understand." She says feeling a little embarrassed. I just rolled my eyes and continued walking.

She turned me around and connected our lips but I pushed her away.
"Fuck you Jauregui, sound familiar?"
I said bitterly and turned walking as fast as I could away from her, hearing her scream my name in the distance. It took everything in me to not turn around and keep going, but i knew that was the best thing to do.
Anger again was replaced by my burning sadness and I was reduced to tears as I made my way home that afternoon.

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Hey guys , I hope you enjoy this chapter there's probably like shit loads of mistakes and I'm terrible a writing but anyway , enjoy.