Harry
As we take our seats for the interview questions I realise that Louis and I are supposed to sit next to each other . I look at Liam in Horror. And he seems to understand because he shoves me aside and takes the seat next to Louis. I let out a deep breath of relief . I'm mouthing a quick "Thank you " to Liam before I take my seat next to Liam and he just lightly nods . As soon as the room quiets down the Questions start. Most of the questions are about the upcoming tour and I'm starting to drift away because I just can't keep my thoughts away from Louis. MY LOUIS. No. He is not anymore. He left me. I suddenly feel like I can't breath properly . Liam seems to recognize somethings wrong and brings me back to reality with a quick shove on my shoulder. But as soon as I here the next question I wish I were still mentally absent.
" So Louis. There are pictures of your holiday. They show you and a beautiful girl very close. Hugging and kissing. Is she your Girlfriend ?" Someone asks in the audience. And I let out a cough to stop the hysterical laughter that's building up in my throat. I don't hear Louis answer anymore . I feel like someone just kicked me in the chest. I can't even think anymore. I can't breath and I literally feel like I'm suffocating. He did what ? He kissed her ? Hugged her? What else ? As far as I know we were still together at this point. So while I was sitting at home waiting for him to come back from his holiday with his family he was all up on her ?
I feel the tears which are slowly forming in my eyes and I know this time I can't hold them back . I'm jumping off of my seat and I almost run out of the room . I don't even know where I'm going. I'm just trying to leave this house. Leave him behind. I need to get away from all this and I am desperately hoping this shit is a bad dream.
" Harry !". I hear him shouting my name and I automatically start to walk even quicker. I rush around as I feel his hand on my shoulder. His hand. How long have I've been wishing to feel his touch again. And I hate myself for the sparks that rush through my entire body as a reaction of his touch. NO. " DON'T TOUCH ME !" I scream in his face, the tears are now streaming down my face and they leave traces of my hurt on my white Shirt.
"Shh. Harry... Hazza.Listen. Please ! You need to calm down." Louis stands in front of me and he tries to reach out for me but I see him flinch as I pull away from him . " No Louis. YOU listen! You KISSED her ? You MADE OUT with her ? You CHEATED on me ? Please tell me this is not true !" He just stares at me . And as he let's out a deep sigh and runs his hands over his face I know the answer. My heart shatters even more and I didn't even know this was possible. But it's worse. To the pain of losing a love comes a huge feeling of betrayal. " I'm sorry Haz.." Louis voice is weak and I almost don't hear him. " Don't. Don't call me this. This is not okay. Just not okay. Leave me alone. I don't want you near me anymore." And with that I'm turning my back on him and I leave the building . I sit down in my car and I break down completely. I am sobbing uncontrollably as I lay my head down on the steering wheel. My thoughts are running and my whole body is hurting from the pain which comes from my heart. I hate him. I hate this girl. And I hate myself. I hate myself for lying while saying I don't want him near me . For loving him with my whole existence . And I hate myself for not being good enough for him.
