I Don't Need Your Civil War (Zarry)

One:

"Darcy Bean Styles, get your cute, little butt UP!" I pinch at her sides beneath the red and black checkered comforter. She offers me a groan and a glimpse of her brown curls spilling onto her pillow in a tired mop.

"Come on, baby. I've got to drop you at 'care before work- Miss Mary said she's very excited to see you." I say as enthusiastically as possible at 6:56 am. She slides the blanket beneath her chin, peering at me with weary, emerald coloured eyes that droop ever so slightly. I prop my chin upon her stomach, lying flat now and return her stare.

"What're you lookin' at?" I tease, but she's having none of it.

"I don't like Miss Mary." she says.

"You love Miss Mary!" I protest and blow raspberries at her cheeks until she pushes me away.

"Before she poked you with her privates."

I shrink back and I can feel my cheeks radiating tomato.

"Darcy, don't say things like that." I sigh and gather her in my arms. Holding her tight to my chest, she squirms restlessly before finding the familiar nook in my shoulder where she nuzzles her face- as she has since she was one day old.

"My Papa said so." she murmurs halfheartedly. I feel the tide of my lip curling between my teeth, crossed with both rage and that offbeat nostalgia- the one that makes your heart palpitations lopsided and uneasy. It makes me sad, and I really, kinda want to cry and break down and listen to Alt J.

"Do you wanna bake cookies after school?" I inquire, setting her upon the favourite futon tucked away in the corner of the living room.

"Uh huh." she tucks her thumb into her mouth, eyes drawn to the TV where Wild Thornberry reruns are on.

As the water warms in the metal basined kettle, I type out a message to Zayn.

To: Zayn Malik:

Why the fuck would you tell our daughter that I'm sleeping with her teacher?

I'm spreading marmalade across a  crumbling slice of sourdough toast when my phone heaves a single vibration in the back pocket of my black work trousers.

"Here Bean, eat fast." I place the toast on the Monster's Inc. plate in front of her where she's been halfheartedly nibbling at the meat of an orange rind.

My phone gives a second buzz and sighing, I fish it out of my pocket.

From: NIALL:

u comin out 2nite?

I decline the offer before moving on to the next one- Zayn.

From: Zayn Malik:

Maybe cos you are????

To: Zayn Malik:

so what if I am? you can't tell her that- you've got no right.

"Darce, you done?" I ask and she nods deligently with a smile dusted with bread morsels.

"Alright- go brush your teeth please."

I sigh, running a hand through my curly brown hair that I haven't bothered to comb this morning because for Christ's Sake, I've worked at the same magazine corporation for the last two years and sometimes I just don't want to wake up alone and have to try.

It's slightly awkward at daycare, when Mary asks to hang out again, because it's only been three months since my bed was occupied by a warm, tan body. And I miss raking my fingers through the black quiff as he fucked me into the mattress during Darcy's nap time, his palm over my mouth to suppress any excessive groans.