That Should Be Me

Moments

I gulp fearfully as there’s a brief silence.

“Ha!” Louis shouts happily, completely oblivious to the pain that feels like it’s all over my face. “LIAM HAS TO SNOG EL! THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD!”

I stare at the floor is horror. Doesn’t this bother him? But then again, he trusts me. He has no idea I’m in love with his girlfriend.

“Liam?” Eleanor murmurs. “Are you okay?”

I don’t reply as Zayn and Louis joke around.

“If you don’t want to kiss me,” her voice breaks. “I understand.”

I look up sharply. Her face is filled with hurt.

“That’s not it, God no,” I say a little too hastily. Oops, that was a little too much. Luckily no one noticed. “I’m, um, worried I’m a bad kisser.”

She looks relieved. “Oh. Liam, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Harry stops wrestling Louis. “Well, are you gonna kiss?”

I take a deep breath. Self control, Liam.

“KISS! KISS! KISS!” Harry chants, jeering his fist.

I chuckle a bit and lean forward, taking a deep breath before I meet my lips with hers.

They’re soft, so very soft and sweet. The slightest hint of vanilla and coffee, warm and smooth and absolutely perfect.

It feels like a thousand fireworks explode in my body and shivers dance down my spine. If there was any doubt before, there’s none now. She’s the One, the love of my life. She’s who I want to spend my life with, spend forever with.

She’s Eleanor, the definition of people. She’s Eleanor, as simple as that. She’s Eleanor and I’m in love with her.

I pull back and blush, looking down.

“Woot, woot,” Louis laughs, slinging an arm around her. My heart breaks and I blink furiously, fighting back tears.

As the game continues and Louis and Eleanor end up snogging against the couch (I can’t fight the pain) I stand up and slip away from the room. No one notices.

I sit down on my bed and don’t fight them back anymore. They stream down my face and I bury my head in my pillow.

A knock resounds through the room.

I sniffle and I try fruitlessly to look like I haven’t been crying.

“Yes?” My voice is hoarse.

“Can I come in?” It’s Harry.

I quickly flip my pillow over so he won’t see the tears on it.  “Yeah sure.”

The door opens and the curly haired lad steps in. “Are you alright?”

I shrug. “Fine. Just tired, you know.”

Harry laughs. “All too well.” But then the smile fades from his face. “Liam, tell me the truth.”

I avert my eyes. He doesn’t know, does he? “I just did.”

I hear an impatient sigh and he sits next to me, the bed creaking under his weight.

“No, you didn’t. You aren’t tired.”

I stare at him. I know my eyes are swollen and bloodshot. Hopefully he’ll think it’s from exhaustion.

“Okay, fine,” he amends. “You are tired. But that’s not just it. You can tell me.”