Cheers to New Beginnings

Chapter 5: Another Step in the Wrong Direction

Lilibeth:

            By the time lunch rolled around, the itch had already set in. I’d had nerve problems since I was a little girl. I used to take medicine for it when Mom was alive, but my aunt had popped my pills the second we moved in with her. After that I never got my refill prescriptions. The outbreaks worked in phases. Phase one was the annoyance at every little sound. Phase two was the snappiness at all people. Phase three was the clumsiness, dropping pencils, books, purses, ect. Phase four was the itching phase; everything itched incessantly and even the slightest hair on my face made me go crazy slapping at it and trying to scratch. Phase five was the hysterical laughing and total meltdown.

            People were giving me odd looks, and I grew even more furious. I’d never had such a bad spell in front of so many people. Brent and the British guy sat with us, and Brent serious thought I was going to like flip out on everyone. He kept on asking if I was alright until I finally snapped his head off. Chloe asked about my tattoo ideas and almost had a heart attack when I told her to pick me a funny but true phrase to go on my ribs. Turned out, Parker had his own tattoos and was a bit of a tattoo artist himself. I decided if my sister said no, I’d have him do it. After I’d effectively snapped three other people’s heads off, Cadience put headphones over my ears and turned on his edgy playlist extremely loud. It helped. I was sure that was the only thing that didn’t get me sent to the office the rest of the school day.

            Tammy shut down my plans as soon as I mentioned it. I had one hour until Chloe was going to the shop, and I wanted to go with her.

            “Why not?” I shouted. “It’s my money, and I want another tattoo!”

            “You need my permission to get that, and I’m on my way to another shift at work. So until you turn eighteen, you will not get another tattoo, do you understand me? I don’t know what’s gotten into you today, but I won’t put up with this shit!” I realized my sister was extremely pissed at me since she was swearing, but at the moment I really didn’t care. I was itching like crazy, and the only way to solve it was to do something to concentrate all my senses on one thing, like a tattoo!

            “Tammy, at the moment I need it! So damn it, just go with me by the shop before you go to work and sign the damned paper!” After she yelled no in my face and ordered me not to go anywhere, she proceeded to confiscate the house cell phone as well and my wallet.

            The door slamming in my face behind her set in phase five of my nervous break out. I began laughing hysterically before throwing a glass of water across the house. The sound of the shattering crystals did little for me. I turned on my radio and blared the music throughout the apartment, but the radio talk hosts kept interrupting every time I began to cool down a little bit.

            At five o’clock, when I was supposed to meet Chloe and Cadience at the parlor, I was sitting at the kitchen table stuffing my face with peanut butter ice cream in attempt to calm my nerves. It wasn’t working. Nothing was working! Suddenly I remembered doing something before that worked. I’d only done it a few times because the after effect sucked ass, but I was desperate at the moment. My body was rebelling against me from the inside out, so I decided to let it out.

            After shuffling through the bathroom cabinet I found one disposable razor. A quick snip with a pair of scissors and the blade came out perfectly. I could have used the scissors but a razor blade made a more precise and smaller cut. I was freaking out, not suicidal.

            I took off my shorts to expose my upper thigh where it met my hip. There was one other scar there besides a few stretch marks. As the blade first punctured the skin I sighed in relief, but then someone opened my front door yelling out “honey I’m home!”