Ever After

Halloween (1)

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This chapter is in Jack's perspective.

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I couldn't believe what I was doing. What was I doing? Why did things have to be so... difficult? Why did Mark, a person who I should've ignored from the start, a nerd who wasn't worth two sentences' time, make me feel so many emotions within such a small heart? Every time he gave me that look, that look that as expecting me to do or say something to him, the look that begged for me to give him a moment's notice... was he trying to make me insane? Was he trying to make me mad? Was his lifelong goal to somehow manage to get onto every one of the one hundred billion nerves in my body? I fucking hoped so, for he was doing exceedingly well at doing it.

I splashed cold water on my face, grimacing at the person in the mirror once I was done.

I was such a coward. I knew I wasn't happy, for the look on my face reminded me all too well. It was a look that'd been haunting me ever since I'd torn that damn photo, a look that'd followed me everywhere I went, no matter how far I ran - it was useless trying to deny what was bound to happen - the predictable, the inevitable. I would eventually cave in; I knew how this routine of mine went, for it'd been performed far too many times. I could never truly understand the identity of the person in my reflection, seeing as their sexuality was a maze of confusion, a never-ending path of torment, guilt, and confusion. Thoughts, however, were the worst. "Am I really gay?" "Or am I just begging for attention?" "... What will my parents think of me?"

I grabbed at my makeup kit, spray can, and costume.

Mark needed to understand that I was doing this for our own good - my own good just as much as his. I needed to protect the both of us from what could only end one way. Relationships (these days) either lasted forever or for what felt like no time at all, often leaving you heartbroken; being gay would just be another obstacle, as if the very thought of a relationship weren't enough to take in. I wish I could be single forever, that I could never have to worry about an erection or hunger for love - but how would I live? I needed someone in my life, needed someone to fill the empty void abstinence left in its trail - Mark couldn't be that person.

Applying ghostly powder on my face, I avoided my own stare, wishing that I had a window in the washroom to stare out of, one just as lovely as the one in the classroom. It was the only thing that could keep me distracted from unavoidable stares - the dumbest part of it was the fact that I could no longer look at my own, for my eyes were hollow shells of what they used to be. They used to be... happy. As weird as it sounds and as dumb as it may seem, my eyes seemed more and more aglow the more Mark and I hung out together - it was as if he made me into an entirely different person, as if nothing else existed when the two of us together, my "tough" reputation like petals on the wind. It was a side of myself that I was now blinded to, a side that I could no longer reach - at least, not without Mark. But it was better to see that side go, for I now had more time to reflect on my newfound self, my new reputation, my new relationship.

As if on cue, my phone buzzed on the counter, displaying Naomi's name on the screen.

"Excited to go to Spooptacular!" I could hear her screech through the text, capable of seeing her eyes light up with every syllable. "Be there in thirty minutes."

(Spooptacular isn't a real thing - I just couldn't think of a name, so I made one up! You know those haunted walks where people dress up and try to scare you, right? That's what I'm going for. :)

I let out a small smile, texting her back with an appropriate response before placing it back down and against the counter, only to hear it buzz again. "Love you," it read.