The Boy Across The Street

One boy but a thousand feelings

Months passed i almost forgot about him. One day she was cleaning the veranda when someone called out to her she wondered who could this be!! but to her surprise it was the person she dreamt of speaking to. What's your name? he asked me followed by what school do you attend? Are you a police she exclaimed but to her surprise he was not as cooled as she thought. By now Simone had conducted her research in his life without becoming suspicious. She almost vowed never to speak to him until she was chilling on the porch with Chin her new friend , he asked my name I hesitated she insisted I talked to him so I did that was where it all began. He asked for my number I gave it to him we messaged each other for hours although we were living across from each other. I started thinking that he was everything I dreamt of in a boyfriend although , he would listen to my idea of my future plans even the ones I thought was and even on the busiest days he made time for me. Until he suggested we started a relationship at first it was fairytale he told me everything I wanted to hear to fall in love with him. Yes, I fell head over heel for him time went by everything was alright until I noticed the time we conversed was gradually reducing. This was a major issue because did I forgot to mentioned am very shy and this was only known to us or that was what I thought. We discussed it changed he would call me regularly , change my mood and let me feel that everything life throwed at me i could overcome. The big question was AM I IN Love? . Everyday I awaited his message or call it was as though he was the centre of my solar system and if a day passed and we didn't converse I'd get stressed. The excuse started with he had home chores I accepted that, he had places to go that also accepted until I had enough so I told him how I felt about his silly excuses. He finally told me there we're other girls besides me and I was a side chick and he was only playing all this time he even went to the extent where he said I only used girls I got this easy. This was the first time in life I'd ever felt this cheap and worthless. I wondered since this was your intention why worked this hard to impress and I cried that night. My heart was shattered in pieces if someone had scared me that night I think I'd feel less pain. My mother talked to me about this countless times but I thought fate would've pardoned me. I was depressed for months especially because the person who hurt me that much lived near me I had to face him everyday. Everything I did was to impress everyone in my surrounding but the pain was so intense at times at times I couldn't hold back the tears. The worst part was that he seemed so happy after destroying someone's life he had not one bit of remorse. I started to blame myself for falling for such low class idiot but then again I had too much things going through my mind. It would be the worst time to make such drastic decisions even suicidal thoughts came but I thank god he was there I realised I had a purpose it may not be what I want but what god planned.

Chapter 3

Months passed things was getting better in terms of how clear my thoughts were but the pain was just as intense as the second it occurred. My friends and family pulled me from the world that I was living in. It wasn't easy but they tried I went but my mind was elsewhere. I became very busy I almost forgot my heart was broken. I was devoted to school work and family life everything was good. My friends and I laughed but one thing was sure I changed I was very moody and far away. I shun anyone who tried to question my actions it wasn't that I was mean everything occurred so quickly and if I told someone I would have to relive those heartsmashing moments. My thoughts was my best friend nowadays until it changed when I attended prize giving. I had achieved so much, I felt special for once in a long while yet again I had a mixed feeling should I be sad for allowing such an idiot to let me feel so worthless? or should I be happy my hardwork as paid off well I felt both. My colleagues , teachers and residents of my community laud me yet a void was still there it was I needed him although he hurt every fibre of my being.

Chapter 4

One Sunday morning I decided to attend church. I got dressed it was as if God had it all figured out and I went. The sermon was powerful and I was filled with the holyghost and I went to the alter where they prayed for me. When I reached home one thing was sure God wasn't finish with me. I started to pray more often and let God do is part I trusted him and it was everything I needed. This was strange I was forgetting him and life was much more easy and at least I wouldn't have anyone to worry about. One day I say him I said hey and the conversation started until he abruptly stopped me when he say Kimoya one of his side chick. I ignored him for about three months until one of my mom's friend hosted a party. My sister and I attended I saw one of my old friends she asked me to follow her over to a boy where he stood. He asked what is the matter with us? I ignored him until I say we know why but he played dumb he asked for my forgiveness I did. One thing was sure we would never be the same it was mostly hi and bye. I talked to his parents just the same as when I loved him. He was afraid of my mother he had all the reasons to because what he did to me.

Chapter 5

We talked but he was the one that put out the necessary effort. We would talk and share stuff but I would shun him often because although he apologized numerous times he's unable of removing those heart shattering words. We became best friends although I wanted to hate him so much I needed him to explain how I felt. My life became the centre for other people's happiness and give counselling on this topic. I often surprise persons by the fact that I know so much about this topic at my age. One thing I never did was discourage anyone about starting a relationship I only open their eyes to the possibilities of an unsuccessful relationship. I often wondered why I took him in my life again just to find out he wanted fame and the only thing he had in mind was sex. I disagreed and out of nowhere his life went back to a schedule. I often I thought my mom was too strict but today I've learnt she was only protecting me from the cruelty of the world and men. I have learnt relationship isn't something you fantasize about it something in which both of each one of you are willing to work with each other besides their flaws and the temptation you face daily. You should be glad out of the million persons on this earth she chose you to love and am sure there is someone who loves her more than you so keep that in mind.

Chapter 6

I became the top student at my school for the year and my grade throughout the school. My friends always teased that am a book worm am not offended because I've got goals. They have relationship goals but I've got educational goals . Boys ain't going nowhere when I acquire my degrees and bachelors I'll be the one choosing. I was so committed to uplifting me pruning over him was no longer an option. I was ridiculed people judged me but I was too focus to let small things bother me and almost everyday I got another position at school. I could stop my life there I had people to prove wrong and persons to impress. My life was exemplary to others both my peers and those of all ages . What I've learnt is that the road to success has a lot of corners and stop lights but with determination and God it's possible. Nothing is impossible the word itself says am I'm possible. That's why I don't judge persons without knowing their story who could've known that my pretty face had I'd cried so much and my compassionate heart endured such intense pain.

Chapter 7

Well in September my mother decided to live with my grandfather in Kingston. I left that area on October 28,2014 with my family I was sick. I didn't want to leave my friends and my school but I guess life deals with changes. I attend Pembroke hall high , my new schools , where I met some new friends. I don't talk to him often and that's how my therapy really started. That didn't make me any more open am a victim of his words still.

Introduction

No matter what life throws your way with god, determination and hope everything is possible even the verbally abusive relationships. God can turn your mess into message n your pain into purpose because probably if I hadn't encountered this I wouldn't have acknowledged and accepted God has I do now.