Inspired To Live

Part 3

~Her~

“Stop.” I could see the look in his eyes and I knew he was ready to jump. “I don’t know what to tell you but you’re really stupid” I blurted out. I don’t know where that came from but I knew I had to say something, anything to get his attention.

He looked back around at me with a disbelieving look and I knew he was listening. “I know you probably think there’s no reason for you live” I continued my eyes never leaving his. “I don’t” he replied stubbornly.

I shook my head “You do, you have so much to live for, you don’t even know”

He never replied so I continued “Are you sure that there’s nothing you have left on this world to live for? Have you balanced out every bad thing to the good things?”

He began to open his mouth to a reply but I quickly added “That was a rhetorical question” and like I was never interrupted I said “I’m pretty sure you didn’t because if you did then you wouldn’t be standing where you are right now. There is so much beauty on the world, even though you might only see the bad things there are so many good things. That’s the thing, if you only see the bad things in life, you’ll never be happy. You should concentrate on the positives.”

“It’s such an ungrateful way to look at life if you can only think of it as ‘it can be better’ remember it can always be worse.”

He looked at me and I stared back “Are you going to come down?” I ask him “Is that all you have to say?” He asks back. I shook my head “I have so much more to say.”

Pause.

“Can you come down and listen?” I bit my lip and then remembered my manners “Please.”

He sat down on the wall, legs swung over towards me, elbows on thighs and chin resting on his palm as if listening attentively. Not what I was hoping for but it was better than nothing.

“I honestly have nothing to live for, I don’t fucking know who my family are and I have no friends. Everyone hates me. So much that they act as if I don’t even friggin’ exist!”

“What about me?” I asked my voice in almost a whisper. He looked at me with a stunned expression like me was surprised with my response.

I shook my head “Never mind.” Then I moved on with my speech, I didn’t even rehearse any of this! “No matter how much you convince yourself that no one cares. People will care. People do care. You can just be too suborn and blind to see it.”

He didn’t look the least bit convinced and I sighed and shook my head for what had to be the millionth time that night. “Family and friends may be a main reason many people continue to live, but that doesn’t have to apply to everyone. Why not just live for yourself? Find your purpose. Create yourself. Live to love yourself.” His eyes softened at this and I felt my heart warm.

“What’s more, can you really leave this beautiful place?” I lifted my eyes off him to look behind him at the beautiful scenery. There was the city, the buildings, the cars, the people and the rest of the city buzz behind him. And behind there was mountains and the hills, all the beauty of Mother Nature.

The only thing bothering me was the grey sky above us. Weather can be such a bitch, when it turns grey it makes lots of people’s mood turn grey too, hence my situation here. “There’s still so much things to see, so many things still to do. Do you really want to give that opportunity up?” I put my gaze back onto him as I said this.

He didn’t answer my question instead he asked “Is that all you’ve got to say?” “No” I answered firmly, “One last thing.” He looked at me as if to say ‘yes, keep going’.

I took one big breathe; this was it, to convince him to stay. “As unlucky as you consider yourself to be, do you consider how lucky you actually are? Around three quarters of the world live in poverty. They barely have any money for their basic needs. There are people dying from starvation, not enough water to drink or only have unclean, disease filled water to drink. You have an education, a hundred and twenty one million children don’t. There are homeless people, people who get denied their rights, people who live in warzones. There are people dying from diseases, illnesses, whose only wish is to survive. And you? You’re healthy and alive, thinking about suicide because you’re lonely, which can be solved so easily.”

“There are so many people who dream to have the life you live. Yet you’re so willing to throw it away that easily.”

When I finished I looked at him to see him standing up again.

I started to feel the tears swell up and my heart shattering. I really put everything into that speech.