This Love -Taylor Swift Fanfiction

Letting go?

So it's 2 days since I left Adams and the amount of guilt I feel is unbelievable. I feel like a terrible person. I played him, then left. I always complain about how boys leave with only a text and I did that to Adam. All he ever was was kind to me.
I try to swipe out those bad thoughts and focus on the future. Harry. He's been texting me like crazy, every day I get about 30 texts. Somehow, in a strange way, I don't want him to stop. Because if he stopped texting me it would mean he didn't like me anymore, and for some reason I don't want that. I realise that I should probably text him back
~Harry?~
•Taylor, I need to see you. We NEED to sort this out. We can't leave it like this please•
Should I meet up with him?
If I do that's being week? Right? Or maybe it'll make me stronger.
~ Okay, somewhere out of the cameras. I don't need this on the New York Times~
•3pm, my place, bring Starbucks•
Omg he gets me so well. He knows when it's right to make a joke that won't annoy me, he knows how much I need Starbucks in a moment of crisis. He knows me all too well.
~I'll be there~
---
As I'm still in London and it's 1pm and Harry's is only a 10 minute drive from my hotel I have plenty of time to make myself look as effortlessly flawless as possible.
I wear Harry's favourite shirt of mine and some black jeans and a leather jacket. It's subtle but affective. I put on red lipstick and my hair in a lose bun with bits falling out, I do my make up and leave the house.
Here goes nothing.
I arrive at Harry's.
I'm just about to knock on the door when a moment of hesitation runs through me. What do I say to him?
After everything? Do I walk in and say "hey styles" all cocky or do I collapse in his arms and shut down right in front of him?
I knock on the door and Harry's standing there in a baggy shirt and jeans. His hairs pulled back and he's wearing the paper aeroplane neckless.
"I've been waiting for this so long it doesn't really seem real" he says staring into my eyes.
I close the door and walk around a bit. I know he's staring at me and I know I should say something but nothing will come out. I pause and turn to look at him.
"I've had everything I wanted to say in my mind since this morning, but it just can't come out" I say
"Taylor I'll do the talking, me and Kendall , we're over. Right after you left Starbucks I ended it with her. Of course she hated me but she wasn't you. She is the biggest mistake I have ever made and since that day I've been regretting it like crazy, I haven't left the house I've just sat here and thought about you. I would do anything for you, I know how much I hurt you and I feel so bad. I just want you in my arms I need you here with me babe" he says taking a few steps towards me.
He cups my face and scans my reaction.
I have no reaction. Of course I miss him but I don't know what to say.
"I wish you could've realised all that before it started, imagine our kids. They would've been beautiful. We could've been happy. I thought I could change your bad ways and make you into a good man. And maybe you are one, but I don't know if it's the kind of good I need" I say and take his hands away from my face.
Tears are pouring down both our faces and all I want is to give up and kiss him but it's not what I need.
"Taylor I can change, I'll be the right man for you. I would do anything Taylor absolutely anything" he says his voice getting louder
"Buy maybe anything isn't good enough" I say and grab my bag
"Alright alright" he says blocking the door
"I've had my chance. I want to make it right. But if you won't let me then I don't know how" he stumbles
"I gave you a good chance. We had it all. You could never make this right Harry , no one could"
I walk towards the door and I'm half way out before Harry grabs my arm.
"At least," he says tears staining his cheeks "say you forgive me"
"I forgive you Harry, but I could never forget what you did"
I say and leave.
I had no idea it would turn out like that. I want to cry. But I'm done with crying so I go to the only place I know. Adams house.