Dear diary,
today I had the guts to flush my razor down the toilet. I'm so proud of myself but ... I miss it, I hate feeling like cutting satisfies me. But I guess it does. I hate myself everyday for it. But I just feel like it's calling me. You know? But i got to go to sleep before I get yelled at. Good night.
Sincerely, the girl no ones cares about.
The next day I woke up feeling like any other day tired... Tired of the teachers, the kids, just people in general. I have social anxiety so it's hard for me to a
make friend, shit I can't even ask the lunch lady for a packet of ketchup nun the less make a friend. I went to class just minding my business like what I usually do. Walking with my head down through the cold hallways. "Hopefully Jamie doesn't spot me and start pushing me around with her little gang" as I said to myself quickly pasting into my class. Today's the day were going to watch the movie about the chimpanzees. "I hope you kids remembered to take notes yesterday" Mrs. Dorthy said knowing we didn't. She turned the movie on her computer and she adjusted the projector. I just put my head down since I didn't get much sleep last night. As soon as I put my head down I felt something wet hit the back of my ear. I looked around and saw a spit ball on the floor. I thought to myself "gee thanks!" as I wiped my ear and put my head back down. There it goes again another one hit my elbow but I didn't bother to get up because I was giving up. At home, at school , just giving up in general.
What's the use of sticking up for myself when they keep doing it no matter how many times I say to stop.
"Beeeeeep"the bell rang. "Finally!" I told myself. My next period was lunch I had lunch ealry so I had time to myself. I walked into the lunch room with my head held high with a bit of confidence for once I didn't completely hate meself. I heard "damn the nerds back." Behind me. I ignoringly kept walking but this time with my head down as if someone was yelling at me. I went to the table I usually sit at the one closest to the trash cans. I just went along with my day the same way as yesterday. Feeling like a worthless piece of shit!
