{ELEMENTISTS OF WILLOW FOREST BOOK V} The Journey Across Water

Burn All Paddling Pools

16: Burn All Paddling Pools

So, to summarise:

I wanted to celebrate my tenth birthday with a bang. By a bang, I mean fireworks. So, I set off some fireworks at the exact moment I turned ten, one spindled out of control and lit the entire care home as well as half the street on fire, I got caught, was shipped out to the police station, sat there for ages and died of boredom, resurrected, sat around in a different care home, then a different police station, then a Council building, then somewhere else, was officially screamed at, then was chucked at the back of another car to somewhere else with a driver who didn't say anything and a policewoman who said an awful lot. Under high security.

Well, happy birthday to me!

Apparently, it wasn't just illegal for me to steal fireworks/bunk of school to steal fireworks/burn down a decent section of a town with out-of-control fireworks, but it was also slightly on the illegal side to threaten the shopkeeper, and, wait for it... set off fireworks between the hours of eleven at night and seven in the morning, on all days excluding New Year's Eve, Diwali, Chinese New Year and Bonfire Night.

(Sigh.)

Usually, apparently, I'd get shoved into prison for six months to a year, but, as I was a nine-year-old kid-

"Ten." I corrected the police officer. "As of today, I'm ten. And extremely grown up."

-they were a bit reluctant to do that, probably because it would look rubbish on twitter. (Or whatever.)

I only know all this, 'cause I got a lovely (not) lecture on it for absolutely a-g-e-s, as I was chauffeured from this boring legal place to that boring legal place, while all these boring people gave me exactly the same speech each time, while their colleagues figured out what to do with me.

Come on. Weren't birthdays supposed to be fun?

"Will I get a trial?" I asked. "Like on television, with the jury and the witnesses and the judge and all the stupid wigs?"

The police officer shook her head. "No. You're a very special case, Sasha. You've been a special case for a while now."

Oh. I'd been expecting something slightly more interesting to happen. "So, I get sent to bed with no desert and a smacked bum, and that's about it?"

She looked intrigued (whatever that means (no, Olivia, don't tell me)). "You have a longing to be punished? An addiction to misbehaviour? Is that what this is all about?"

"I have an addiction to chocolate buttons. I've got a packet in my pocket. Is that what this is all about?"

The woman sighed. "No. You're seeing a psychologist later. I was just hoping we might be able to find something to... make her job easier."

"I've seen a psychologist before." I said helpfully. "Apparently, I'm completely normal." I was normal, wasn't I? I was still normal, surely. Of course I was still normal. What on earth in my life was in anyway not-

"YOU'RE NOT NORMAL." The policewoman barked angrily. "Sasha Brunner, you're not normal, you weren't normal, and if you ever were, you never will be again."

Her words stung me like no words had ever stung me before. Like nothing had ever stung me before. Including wasps. And nettles and bees and ants and tears except tears don't sting because I don't do tears and I never ever will because tears are silly and I've turned ten.

"If whatever you've done- running away several times, disappearing for months, starting fires, bullying, playing truant, vandalising, stealing, bribing, blackmailing, repetitively knowingly breaking the law- if that's all what you've been trying to do to make yourself feel normal, and fit in, then it's failed."

What did she mean, repetitively breaking the law? I played the odd prank. That was all.

"You're a bad, bad girl, Sasha" she said like I was still five. "A bad, bad, girl."

I'm a bad girl.

*

The psychologist was boring, too.

He made me do all these really stupid things, like draw a picture of myself (I drew a flame); draw a picture of absolutely anything (I drew the bonfire from the centre of Les Serpents Rouges); draw a picture of my absolute dream best friend (I drew Julliet holding her bow and Rex's sword and wearing Avril's jacket with all the knives with an expression like Seraphine).

Then, I had to do this dumb word recognititititition thing, where the psychologist says one word, and I had to say the first thing that came to mind.

"Fun"

"Murder"

"Party"

"Plot"

"Playground"

"Burn"

"Rainbow"

"Blood"

"Sparkles"

"Destroy"

"House"

"Burn"

"Friendly"

"Burn"

"Hotel"

"Burn"

"Paddling pool?"

"Double burn."

He tried a different approach.

"Evil"

"Me."

*

In the end, the psychologist decided that I was a danger to society. I might have ADD, as well, apparently, but he said he'd need another appointment to check for that.

(I never had another appointment.)

I wasn't allowed to go to school, in case I, like, stabbed one of my classmates or something.

I had to be supervised at all times, forbidden from going away outside my 'delegated place of care' without a responsible and listed adult... basically, whichever place became Care Home Number Six, it was going to be more of a prison than a home.

And there definitely wouldn't be any pet sharks or arcade machines.

*

I tried to forget what the policewoman and the psychologist said. They were all just idiots, weren't they, so there wasn't much point on dwelling on it too much. Everyone was an idiot. The whole world was full of idiots. Care workers and social workers and the police and psychologists and councillors and whatevers were idiots. Gran and my mother had been idiots. Posh Tot Tory had been an idiot. Auntie Romane was an idiot. Lucinda had been an idiot. All the world was idiotic. The only people who weren't idiots were me, and Les Serpents Rouges, so one day I was going to make it back to Les Serpents Rouges, or find another place where nobody cares about the past and only the present matters which was just as good.

And I was going to try and finally get some pet sharks in the process.

Because I still wanted pet sharks.

Toothy ones. That could speak French.