Soon, Very Soon

1

I step out into the warm autumn air and take a deep breathe. Life could almost seem normal right now, almost. Carol would come running out in front of the house about now and throw leaves at me, something I used to hate but now would give anything for. Because there are no leaves, and no Carol.
A silent tear might have slipped down my cheek now if it weren't for the hard set look of determination that instead covered my face, and my feelings. Inside I feel as though someone has stabbed my heart one too many times and then had the decency to numb it.
Apparently since I'm old enough to work at McDonalds, I can also have a debate with an alien. Plus, hey, at least my family has experience with death, I think with a bitter laugh as I catch a large dust particle floating on the wind, squinting at it sourly. There is only one thing left inside me, or rather absence of it. Hopeless, and it drowns me, because if Carol couldn't convince them of our worth, I sure as hell can't either.