Déjà Vu

6. Reflex

~Reflex~

Love is a reflex; it’s just what you do.

I had been pricked, poked and prodded with countless amounts of needles and hospital equipment. During the minutes after my body had recovered from the morphine, nurses were filing into the room. Alert to my surroundings; my eyes widened to see a white room, the ceiling of which was a pattern of uniformed polystyrene tiles held in place by plastic strips. I forced my body into a sitting position, noticing the bed had a metal frame which surrounded my figure, confining it to the solid mattress. My nostrils began to burn from a thick bleach smell which polluted the air. I heaved futilely as the solid stench twisted my weak stomach. Instead I resorted to coughing and spluttering when I could practically taste the invasive odour in my mouth. That’s when I realised the crowd of hospital staff congregated around the bed next to mine. My attempt at coughing had been the only noise in the room apart from a loud monotone beep that was resonating from a machine, a flat line.

The staff just stood, looking at each other for any kind of direction or instruction. Their silence wasn’t comforting in the least and my achy figure trembled when I saw a blonde haired doctor look towards the clock.

“Time of death 06:03pm” his voice was sure and experienced but I couldn’t help but notice the dejected underlying tone that was carried out with his sentence. His brows furrowed as he lightly shook his head with genuine sorrow.

One of the nurses reached into the top of her uniform, tugging out a necklace. She briefly placed her lips to its pendant and muttered something under her breath whilst her eyes remained moulded closed. Her grip on the necklace was so fierce that her knuckles began to turn a shade of yellowish-white. I thought I saw a tear escape her eyes as she turned away towards the exit of the room, followed by a few of her solemn faced co-workers.

I sat looking over at my neighbour's bed, not knowing what to do. I thought about pulling the white curtain around his section, blocking his still being from sight, that is, until I saw the pale blue sheet that was already spread over his lifeless form, covering his head. However, a touch of sandy blonde was rebelliously peeping out from under the top of the sheet. I began to study the way the shape of the throw fell over this man's face and body, it all looked so familiar. And then it clicked. 

“No.” my throat was dry but my face was beaded with the new assault of tears falling down my cheeks. Through the grogginess, I began to think of the most recent memories, especially of a certain kiss with an undeniably sandy blonde haired man. My lips trembled with comprehension. I didn’t think about what I was doing; my legs shifted over the frosty metal barriers of the bed landing with a slap as my bare feet hit the white vinyl floor. I began to tumble towards my motionless neighbour, tugging the IV from my arm. I barely noticed the initial sting that caused as I buried my head onto the sheet, underneath was the chest of my Cory. I was expecting to feel his warmth radiating through the thin material, hoping that his deep rumble of laughter would startle me out of this living nightmare and his firm arms would wrap around my torso. Instead I was met with an icy cold, concrete frame. My pure heartbreak escaped the only way it could, by crying out storms of tears on to the blue cotton, discolouring patches of the material with damp blemishes.

Between uncontrollable heaves my mouth managed to speak the words my mind wanted to say. “I-Love-You” It was too late for him to hear it now but I hoped it would suffocate some of this anguish. Instead it only brought on a fresh round of regret and guilt.

I sank to the floor, dragging the sheet with me. My broken, balled up self, clutched onto the memories of Cory whilst I wrestled with the thought of attempting to join him. I was hardly aware of a sturdy grip on my shoulders lifting me up; I didn’t even bother to open my eyes, nothing mattered anymore. 

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Hey guys, sorry this chapter is a little shorter than the others! not much time on my hands but I wanted to update the story instead of leaving you hanging :) would love to know what you all think of this chapter! please vote and comment as always and ill try to update soon, Thank you :D