The Contract (complete)

Baekhyun: Chapter 6

Monday comes too quickly, and soon you find yourself back in those claustrophobic school halls. Despite the fact that you've been going to this school for years, you feel estranged when you walk between classes. There's a disconnection that hadn't been there before, a form of apathy that fails to raise your awareness. Whispers echo through the classrooms, word of your relationship status reaching the ears of unassuming students. You don't see girls holding boxes of chocolate or wielding sealed envelopes behind their backs anymore. For the first time in a long, long time, you can't predict a confession from afar.

You don't see Baekhyun for the first half of the morning, since the only time you ever see him is during lunch and the one class you share with him. Although your classmates give you curious glances during the class period, you ignore them and intently pay attention to your teacher's lesson, something you had never really bothered to pursue before. Well, it's either you listen to what they say about you, or listen to the teacher, and you prefer to go with the latter.

You're used to feeling fairly invisible, and having so many eyes on you makes you uneasy and, although you hate to admit it, a little scared. You like being unknown, however strange that sounds. When you're unknown to people, you can do whatever you want without fear of being judged. Now, that freedom is completely ripped away, and all because of your decision to save other girls' hearts from breaking. But maybe that act wasn't completely selfless. Maybe you had - no, have - ulterior motives that you're hesitant to admit.

You scoff at yourself at this. That's ridiculous. Ulterior motives? Like what? That you've actually wanted a reason to date Baekhyun? That's ... stupid. You don't think about him that way, and you never will think about him that way. You don't intend to, not one bit, not even a little, not even an iota of an emotion.

But every night for the past two days, you've fallen asleep with your phone in your hand, the photo of his face displayed on your screen. You've looked at it too much, stared for too long at the outline of his jaw, at the crinkle around his eyes, at the shine in his hair. He's unbearably attractive. You've noticed it before, sure, but this time, it's different. It's like you're being forced to see him in a different light, and you're not sure if you should keep doing it. Still, you can't help yourself from looking at that photo, but you know you need to stop. The more you use something, the quicker it's shine is lost. And you don't want that to happen with this photo. You don't want to keep staring at it so much that you'll eventually get tired of it; you want the newness to remain constant, and you always want to look forward to seeing that face on the screen of your phone.

The thing is, those feelings shouldn't be involved. The Contract says so. Baekhyun says so, and he made that contract. He obviously has no intentions of letting this plan unfold in unnecessary ways. Stick to the plan, he'd say. Follow the Contract. That's the type of guy Baekhyun is: organized and collected. He probably doesn't have the same problems you're starting to face.

You kind of wish he does, though.

Seeing him sit alone in the cafeteria, you move to accompany him. Never before have you been more aware than at this moment of exactly how thick and tightly woven the tension in the room is. Despite the usual commotion that occurs during lunch, there's a hidden, simmering strain that pushes on you from all sides. Maybe you're only aware of it now because of your status. Nonetheless, it makes you anxious.

"Hey," you greet Baekhuyn as he slowly chomps on a loaf of bread. He barely looks at you, and you wonder whether you really are the only one who is starting to question her feelings.

"How's school been so far?" He asks casually.

"Fine," you shrug. You sneak a glance around you and notice that a number of girls have begun to crane their attention towards you. Noticing they've been exposed, they briskly look away. "This is weird," you tell him.