Can You Love Me Instead

Prologue

Almost 3 years ago, our worlds collide
But I never imagined you would notice me from behind,
To have you as my dearest best friend, it never crossed my mind
And I am more than thankful for that,
Since your life intersected mine,
It was like bitter, sweet and everything all at once.
I felt like I was standing at the abyss,
Welcoming death, yet at the same time
You gave me a glimpse of being bliss

Do you know why you're so dear to me
As my dreams happened to be??
You listened to me, I bet you thought I'd never end.
Long conversations about really everything
Is why you are the very best thing.
There was a moment of silence every time we spoke,
Until you made me thank existence from the lowest to low.

Growing up, that's the real tragedy.
Knowing that you'll run out of feeling something new for the first time.
I think that's why you meant to me as much as you did,
Why I hold on for so long.
I didn't know it back then,
but you were the last time I would ever feel anything new.

Our friendship seems like such a bore
And I fear one day you'll see it as a chore
And that's why I would rather be so much more,
A wishful thinking indeed,
For I know what we are and what we are not.
But to let go of this feeling, I just can't.

It's unfathomable how I fell in the depth of this madness.
It was insane, I don't care!!
'Coz keeping you is the only sane thing I discern.

I love the way we are together,
you can always make me smile will it even really be forever??
It's so sad to have these doubts
That someday sighs will fill our breaths
For we have forgotten the the things we've shared.
But, on the River Styx we promised
That we'll be as constant as the speed of light did.

My dearest friend, I can't give you enough
Nor meet your expectations.
But everything in here, are the things I hold for you.
You are in my bones, In the pit of my stomach, in my heart,
They have to rip the hell out of me to get you out.

Friend, we are separated by impassable gulfs,
But my thoughts and prayers are with you, always.
Time will reveal what lies ahead
But always remember what I have said.
Cliche may it seems but meeting you has changed my life,
And I really love you so, to the moon and back.
Missing you might be as hard as scaling everest
But memories with you will keep me at ease.

You are my best friend
It's not till death do us apart,
It's till the world ceases to exist.
We might not ever be anything more
Please do remember, I will still be here
in the end, always and forever.

Remember me always and I will too
'Till our planes intersect again my constant.

▩ These were the last words, I pulled out for him before everything we had was set apart before the distance between us stretched to its limit. It feels like, it's the end and the beginning of everything.