Views From The Top

Interlude

In my last book I never told you guys what made me become a male "hoe". The phrase "being cheated on will turn you into a savage" that's very true to be honest. Our mysterious lady Q was the reason I treated women the way I did. Now I know that's not a reason because all women aren't the same, but Q wasn't just no ordinary women. I loved her I bought her things, and, and get this, she's the one who took my virginity. So right there is an automatic attachment. Try to picture this, and I cannot make this up. I texted her asking if I could come over she said she was sick, so that was a no and I said ok cool, a couple weeks later we are coming up on our 3 month anniversary, it was a week away. So I plan out this big ass party or whatever, wasn't really a party but you catch the flow. So as I make my way down the hill to her house from the angle I'm at I see her door open so I duck behind a bush just in case it was her father or mother, but she steps out and as soon as I stand up I see a nigga, young nigga step out her house and in thinking that's her brother or something, so I begin to walk closer and I see them hug and then kiss for about 10-20 seconds. I literally froze up and just stood there, neither one of them saw me. I was speechless, what was did I do wrong what was wrong with me, how did I possibly Fuck this up. Walked home that night, what normally was a 10 minute walk turned into a 30 minute walk. I could feel my legs dragging with each step, I could feel my heart breaking with each step, I could feel my mind changing. The next day at school I saw her and she ran up to me and tried to hug me and I side stepped her a little and she almost fell, "ugh wtf Roland I almost busted my ass". "Thats not the only thing that got busted" I said with a straight face, she laughs and says what's that suppose to mean, still tryna give me a hug, and I asked her who was the guy that came out of your house yesterday. A scared look came across her face and dead silence was in the air, I asked again but this time with more anger "Who....the fuck came out of the house yesterday" she looked away and looked at me then back away,she started to cry and said it somebody who went here last year and he graduated. After she said that I turned around and left she tried to grab my arm,but I snatched it away looked back at her and told her I was done with her. She stood there with her friends tryna comfort her, when I left and went to go throw her shit outta my locker, I felt something come over me, something that wasn't right but i knew it would help me become somebody that I would learn to grow very fondly of