Caution: Heartbreak Ahead

They'll Never Know

They'll Never Know by Greenninjagal
"Are you ready?"

"Hell No." She replied wringing her hands with nervousness. He turned the steering wheel.

"Language," Her Dad reminded her, like that was the most important thing.

It wasn't.

But she pretended like it was.

She turned to look out the window, but the ever changing scenery suddenly gone. Everything...just gone. Gravity disappeared. Her scream caught in her throat ripping it open. Glass exploded around her, the shattering sound like gunshots, The radio was drowned out so fast it didn't seem real. The world was sideways, pain hit her next.

Agony so deep she actually felt it. The edge, the cut, the red sticky liquid gushing down her cheek. The metallic taste in her mouth mixed the dirt in her throat.

But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was the fear.

For once, it was the fear that raced through her whole being, the dread that reached its icy fingers in her heart in her mind that cupped her cheeks and brushed off her tears caring more than her father did. The tangible force that whispered to her, that told her what she already knew.

No one would know.

No one would know anything.

They wouldn't know about the present she hid in her dresser under her bras, the gift for her brother whose birthday was next week. They wouldn't know about the stash of chocolate she hid in cupboard behind the cornflakes that no one in her house even liked. They wouldn't see the empty water bottles in her bag that she forgot to throw out again. They would never know that she got all A's that year. They wouldn't know she use to sneak up onto the roof and stare at the stars after dark. They wouldn't find out about the account she made on that writing website without their permission.

They wouldn't know about the razor she kept behind the present for her brother, they wouldn't see the slashes that painted her wrists and thighs in happy little tally marks, counting like there actually was strength in numbers. They wouldn't know that the chocolate was so they wouldn't hear her sobs at night, or see the tears that laced her face, because it's just like they say- Chocolate makes everything better. They wouldn't see her popping pills in her mouth between classes, hoping one day she'd overdose just to see if anyone cared, or noticed. They would never know that she was the only one to pass the class and no one was there to tell her that was a good thing, that they were proud of her. They wouldn't know that she use to stand on the edge of the roof wondering how long it would take her to fall, or the sound her body would make when she finally hit.

They wouldn't find out about that stupid website her friend told her to check out when she learned that she liked to write. They wouldn't know that same friend started the rumor that she was a slut, a mistake, a lesbian...like it would matter in a couple years if she had a boyfriend or not.

They wouldn't know that she'd been drowning in English Class, just barely keeping her head above the snide comments and rumors. That she'd been bleeding out on the bus ride home, the jagged edges of the insults stabbing her until her sleeves and jeans were stained red yet again. That she'd been tore apart by the monsters in her head that were her only friends in the dark.

The same monsters that played her favorite game with her, "How Best to Kill Yourself". She suggested the pills, they said the razor, she said a rope, they proposed a jump.

No one would know those little secrets that she kept to herself.

She'd take those to her grave.

Her father wouldn't know that she lied.

She lied just seconds ago.

She lied like she'd been doing for years. That she smiled like she'd been doing for years. Fake. The sparkle in her eyes was dead, a fraud that she learned to make a lifetime ago. A lie she'd been covering up layer after layer.

Insult after insult.

Tear after tear.

Until it was just a tangled mess of half-truths that buried her alive when no one was watching.

"Are you ready?"

Yes.

She was. She'd been ready for a while now. It was only a few seconds, but the darkness reminded her it was her friend. Her only friend.

Blood stained the road, the leather seat of the car, the crumpled dashboard. It trailed down the highway, seeping into the plants that shivered in the whisper of her death. Gas plodded across the double yellow line a reflection, so shiny, so beautiful, it must have been the life of another girl, one who had been terrified, fighting to free herself, fighting to keep breathing. People shouted, shouted like everything was of utter importance, even when it wasn't even close to being there. Glass caught the sunlight was shining ball of happiness that smiled down at the scene, though the warmth was lost.

She closed her eyes and told the shadows, "Hello again, but now I'm here to stay."

And somewhere far away another person open her story on that writing website. Another Person smiled when they finished the chapter in an utter cliffhanger, and clicked the next button. Another Person voted on her story, Another Person opened comment box. Another Person told her she was an amazing writer. Another person....

Asked when she would update again.