Adventures of an Asshole

So you're probably wondering who I am {Chap 1}

Alright lets cut straight to the chase, and skip all those shitty formalities and action introductions. Name's Crow.

Now you're probably like "Oh but Crow? What an unusual name, what kind of shitty parents did you have to name you that?"

I would respond something like this... "Well delightful human, I had wonderfully shitty parents to name me that, if I was in fact a human."

I would now imagine you'd say something incredibly stupid, along these lines. "Oh but you're not a human? Oh my! What kind of strange thing are you!? Will you eat my pitiful brain?"

"I am a shape shifter dear human."

"Oh my, what kind of badass animal are you? Are you a Crow? Or something like a wolf! Or may-"

I would then cut off your insufferable rambling, and say this. "No I am a cat, and not one of your big badass panthers, lions, tigers, any other retched animal you can think of, but I am in fact a normal house-cat sized cat."

Now you're probably wondering "Are there anymore of you?"

Yes human there are, there are lots where I live; and with that I would walk away leaving you in wonder, now that the introductions are over I could finally start telling my story and stop listening to your horrendous question that would of definitely killed a few brain cells.

Okay so that was the first chapter and no the whole story is not going to be like him talking to you, this was just my way of introducing you to him! So anyways, this is my first time writing but I'm not gonna say "NO HATE PLS!" because criticism is welcome, but make it constructive if you can. Oh and thanks for reading I will try to be posting this regularly, but keep in mind this is a hobby for me, but I do have lots of free time, so..