Love, Sex, Riot. (Bret Von Dehl love story)

Chapter 21: Leave me

Trigger warning, please read with caution. If triggered easily do not read.

Esence POV

1 week later

I look at myself in the mirror and see bones popping out, sadness in my eyes, pale skin, and just a girl that's been through so much to get to where she wanted to be, only to be put back into the place she was in, in the past.

Bret was out bonding with the guys as I stayed home because I wasn't feeling to good. I had been feeling a little under the weather and my stomach was acting up causing me to puke up any contents I tried to put in my body.

Bret has been worried about me this past week due to my strange behavior, but I can't help it that i'm feeling this way. Why I don't know. It doesn't help that I just got news on the little girl [Blake] I had met at Warped during the summer. Her mother called me a few days ago crying her eyes out because they had discovered Blake's body beaten to death in an alley way. For the past two days I've been crying non stop for this to be just a dream, for this to be a horrible dream and that I would wake up at any minute and Blake would be fine. But no it's not, this is real and all I can do is cry and cry and pray to whatever is up there that Blake will be okay and that my little Messiah isn't dead.

I feel tears starting to slide down my cheeks as I imagine what Blake was going through that night she died, the night she became my guardian angel. She was such a sweet girl, she didn't deserve anything she went through throughout her life.

Looking up at my reflection again I feel disgusted with myself. You should be you attention seeking whore, you have nothing better to do than feel sorry for yourself all the time. Your parents didn't want you, they didn't love you at all because your a disgrace, a disgrace to your family to your friends and to this world. 

My mind races as these thoughts pop up in my head. Still looking at my reflection I notice my eyes are a dull white grayish color, not like the usual bright glowing white they normally are. Looking at me like this makes me angry with myself. How could I have possibly let myself fall again? 

Without hesitation I rear my fist back, bringing it forward, shattering the mirror that held my reflection. I fall to my knees, now holding my bloody hand to my exposed chest and cry, cry until i'm uncontrollably sobbing, shaking and gasping for air. Why, why do I do this to myself.

Bret's POV

Me and the guys had decided to go out and have some time to get to know each other better since I've never really had time to spend with them. We decided to go out and walk Hollywood Blvd. to see all the different types of people that roam the streets. We ended up going to get something to eat and drink a bit before we decided to head back to check up on Esence.

We got into Scene and EJ's car me squishing in the back with Jacky and Jamison. They turned up the radio blasting the MISFITS through the speakers. We all started to sing along and head bang on the way back, laughing when an old lady flicked us off. 

When we pulled into the drive way I waited till they fully parked to get out, and ran up to the door, waiting patiently for one of them to unlock it. Scene unlocked it quickly and I ran in not wasting anytime so I could see my beautiful girlfriend. I was about to step on the first step of the stairs when I heard glass shatter and whimpers coming from upstairs. 

My eyes widened in terror and I sprinted up the stairs as fast as I could to see if Esence was okay. When I walked into the room I saw that she was no were in the room, then I looked to see that her bathroom door was closed. I heard loud sobs and knew she was in there by the sounds of it. I quickly rushed over and opened the door to reveal Esence on her knees, hunched over, hair hanging over her face like a curtain, holding her hand to her naked chest, sitting in a pile of shattered glass. Her body was shaking uncontrollably as loud sobs racked through her body.

I kneel down, lightly touching her shoulder only for her to jump back, and look up at me with swollen red eyes. That's when I see blood dripping down from her hand onto her chest, glass sticking out of her knuckles.

"Please leave," she whispers out.

"No baby i'm not leaving you to bleed to death, let me help you," I say, reaching for her arm.

"I said leave, go just go," she weakly says, looking down again. My heart breaks at the sight of her like this.

"No Esence i'm not leaving," I protest back.

"God damn it Bret I said leave! Go!" she screams at me. I jump back a bit not expecting her to yell at me. Okay, that hurt a lot. "Can't you see? I'm not good enough for you, I've never have been and never will be. I'm just an disgrace to you, to the guys, and to this world, that's why my family didn't want me. I fucking hate myself, always have and always will. Never will I except myself for the way I am. Just leave me alone and go back home, find someone better for you, be happy, be free from me holding you back," she chokes out.

"Esence you are good enough for me. You are not a disgrace to anyone or this world and I love you with all my heart. I would never leave you, I love you to much to," I tell her looking her straight in the eyes. She just shakes her head looking back down at the tile covered in blood and glass.

"I'm sorry........"

A/N: OHHHH CLIFFHANGER AND PLOT TWIST!!!!!!!!!! DAMN DOUBLE DOOZIE. WHAT DO YOU THINK ESENCE IS GOING TO SAY??????????

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