Love, Sex, Riot. (Bret Von Dehl love story)

Chapter 7: Well Flu-doodle

Esence POV

As soon as I got onto the bus we were off to Houston. Was I happy, no. Was I sad, yes. Was I mad, well that's an understatement. I was beyond livid, because you know what, try getting fucking kicked out of your house when your fucking fourteen years old. Yeah, its not fun, at all. And to think I would ever go back to that city again. Fuck, why did it have to be Houston first. Well I guess it's better to get it over with.

Let's just hope no one is there that I knew, because that would be bad, like really bad. And I hope those fuckers don't show their faces because if they do I will go flu doodling haywire.

I have so many emotions right now its making my head hurt like hell. Like it's going to explode from all this thinking, then I wouldn't be alive, and then my head would be splattered all over the walls. Oh no I cannot let that happen. Okay Esence relax your mind, you have to do this for the fans. It's just one little show and then you will be fine after that. Yeah okay I'm calm.

"Hey Esence, you okay there," I heard Jamison ask.

"What, oh yeah i'm fine, totally fine, why wouldn't I be fine, I mean look at me i'm fine, more than fine actually," I rushed looking like a crazy lady on drugs.

"Uh-huh. Esence what's really wrong," Jamison pushed leaning forward on the couch.

"Fuck, I hate it when you know something's wrong," I mumbled under my breath.

"Well one I'm good at knowing when something is wrong, and two when I asked you if you were okay you were fucking acting like a drugged up crazy lady, so I can tell your not fine," he beamed, putting emphasis on the last part.

"I'm just scared, I guess," I replied with a tiny voice.

"Why sweetheart," he pushed.

"I'm just scared that something bad will happen, like what if they're there and they try and talk to me or, someone that I knew is there and they recognize me and ask me why I just up and disappeared, I'm not ready to face any of this yet," I complained hanging me head low, hugging myself for comfort.

Jamison just sat there, thinking of ways to comfort me but anything he would say wouldn't work. Yeah you may call me a baby, whatever, but facing this is hard for me.

After I got kicked out I even got more depressed because I knew my parents didn't love me or want me anymore. Yeah I found Scene, EJ, Jacky, and Jamison, but they could only do so much to try and help me. I wouldn't eat for days that's why I became so skinny, I would sit in my room locked up for weeks on in, just thinking about ways that I could have prevent all of that shit that happened. You may think I'm all cheery and smiles, but have you ever heard of a mask to cover it up, yup that's me I'm a fucking depressed, emo, fag, whatever you want to call me that hides up all my emotion in front of people, but the second I get away and behind closed doors I let myself go. I become like a baby piglet coward in the corner, trying to get away from my attackers.

Why am I just now telling you this, you ask? Maybe it's because I want you to know the true me. The girl who is scared shit less of every little thing that goes on in life.

I don't want you to know the fake me, I want you to know what goes on in my mind, what goes on in this fucked up head of mine. The world that I have to live in all the time.

Some people tell me that everything will get better, but it wont I know it won't. Others tell me that maybe I just need to find someone to love and to take my mind off of everything, and to tell them all the things that are racing through my head. But, they don't understand that I could never love again. I mean could I? I thought my parents loved me but obviously they didn't. They broke my heart, my trust, and me. They broke everything. Every emotion, every piece of me, broken. Only so much is still together.

But can one person be my salvation. Could that one person mend me back together and pick up all my pieces that have broken off. Can he do that? Is he strong enough to pick me up when I'm far to gone? Well the real question is, will he? Or will I be left alone to save myself, to pick up my own pieces, to be my own salvation.

Time. It takes time. Let's just hope not to long, because I may have said that I could never love again but he, he has an exception. Every time I saw him my mood would become better, or I would get that hope that maybe that night I could not be so dull and gloomy. And knowing that, that is what happened to me when I was around him gave me hope for him to be my salvation to my broken self.

The only problem is, does he love me back?

Bret's POV

Have you ever got that weird feeling like someone is thinking about you? Well I have and it's happening right now.

I wonder who is thinking of me? Obviously they are thinking of me hard because I have this feeling that I need to help this person, that they are in some kind of trouble. Why? Well hell I don't even know that answer.

Maybe it's a close friend, or a loved one. Let's just hope they're not in too much danger.

Maybe it's Esence. Maybe she needs my help. I mean I don't know for sure It's just a guess. She has seemed kind of down and when we left she kinda looked sad to be leaving. Well she is also going to the city where her parents live and where she used to live.

Duh Bret, it is her that is thinking of you. I'm pretty sure she is scared out of her wits because she doesn't know what will go on at the show. I wonder how I can help her though. I don't know what to do.

Should I protect her from them, or should I go with the flow and see what happens.

Fuck, this is a hard decision.

A/N: Hello my lovelies. Sorry I havent updated I've kind of had writers block and I have been busy with homework and EOC practice shit, so yeah.

Here is a little more insight on what Esence feels and thinks, and what goes on in her mind. I hope you enjoy this chapter cause I actually kinda like it.

Comment what you think of it and what Bret should do to help her

Can he be her salvation.

I don't know can he.

You will have to read to find out.

Tell your friends about this book if you like it and recommend it to people. That would be amazing. I love you all. Stay strong my rebels.

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