Greenflames: Depression vs. Love

Only the Beginning...

Lloyd's P.O.V

I never knew that one could feel so hollowed out after losing something precious. What I did was hard, but it was right, and Garmadon knew that too. It was just... I couldn't help but feel regret in my decision to destroy the Cursed Realm.
I sat down behind a building in Stiix and bunched my knees tight to my chest. I laid my head in between my knees and started to cry. I didn't want the others to see me, for what would I have done? What would I have said? How would I have explained? I never felt such emotion and my life and I wanted to empty the overflowing trash can of hurt.
I could have stayed behind that building for hours, days even, but destiny had not wanted this. Destiny had wanted someone to disrupt this mournful suffering that I embraced with open arms. Destiny sent Kai to pull me out of despair's embrace.
Kai had come quickly and suddenly, he was by my side in the faint light of the foggy night. A lone streetlight illuminated us, a sickly green tint decaying the light. Kai touched my shoulder then. I shuddered, but stopped crying in fear of a negative feeling. He began to rub my back in a soft, fluid motion, that could put anyone weary enough to sleep. I had to fight the urge to go to sleep then, for Kai had such a comforting touch that I had quickly grown to like. The moment would have been perfect, except for the wretched emotions of grief and pain that haven't gone away. Remembering these pains brought tears to my eyes again.
I tried to shield them from Kai, but he noticed my disturbance and stopped rubbing my back. I buried my head deeper into my legs, deeper into the despair of hardship and loss I had grown faintly used to these past few hours. Kai would not stand for my shyness, for he grabbed a lock of my hair and pulled up. My head, reacting to the pull, came up with the lock, and I was exposed to the cool damp air of Stiix. He had succeeded in making me uncover my face; making me LOOK at him was another thing.
"Lloyd,". He said, advancing his hand to my shoulder. I pulled away slightly.
"What?" I said quietly, still looking away from him, refusing to meet his gaze.
"I know it's hard, what you're forced to go through right now-"
"Do You?" I said louder than before.
"Do you REALLY know what it's like to lose a father TWICE? Three times at best?"
I looked down at the rank boards below me, holding up Stiix. He thought he knew my pain, but did he really? I had never felt worse in my life, and here Kai is adding to that feeling.
"Lloyd, I lost a father too, so did Nya. We both lost sight of what was important for some time, but we learned to accept that he was no longer with us in the shop, helping me with black smithing or helping Nya run the counter and decor outside. Accepting something like this is hard, Lloyd, I know, but you have to take that leap of faith someday."
"And if I don't?" I said, now starting to bury my head back in my knees.
Kai grabbed my chin and forced it up and in his direction, to the point where I was looking at him. My eyes had no where else to look, so I was forced to look into his eyes, his soft brown eyes.
"Then I would be very disappointed." Kai said, looking straight at me, gaze lingering I my green eyes. I felt a slight hint of color reach my cheeks, I tried to pull away from his grip, but he held on firmly. I pushed his hand away then, and looked out at the sea. He continued to look at me fore some time, before finally settling on gazing his eyes at the seas with me.
All the times we had visited Stiix we were on mission, so I never got a good look at it. The sea was beautiful this time of night, and also a little spooky. The faint hint of a mist gleaming off the surface of the water along with the added bonus of the green light made the sea look ghostly. My eyes clouded at the thought.
I turned away from the sea and looked at Kai.
"Why did you come over to talk to me? I asked him, a near dead look in my eyes, no doubt.
   He only looked at the sea and sighed.
  "The team and I have been looking for you for hours. We thought that you had left Stiix, but to make sure we scoured the place inside and out, looking for a sign that you were here."
He held my gaze then.
  "I guess my hunch was right then. Here you are, hidden in a dark alley way, curled up a dm crying." Kai looked down, away from me. I didn't blame him. All the words exchanged tonight were a lot to take in. I wouldn't want to look at me either.
  Kai got up then and stretched out his back.
   "Well, think we should head back now. The others are probably wondering where we are by now."
He offered a hand for me to grab. I look down, then grabbed his hand and hoisted myself up. While we walked down the alley to the others, I felt a hint of color rush into my cheeks. Kai's hand was warm, and satisfying in a way I hadn't experienced before.
  
    ~for the first time in hours, I actually smiled.