Eight Cakes and Two Eulogies

Chapter 1

Stifling a yawn with his gloved hand, Louis took the opportunity to cross the busy road as the pedestrian crossing he was passing turned green. He darted his way around lagging school girls and harassed mothers pushing buggies of screaming kids, thinking about the day ahead. There was a lot he had to get done but it was subject to getting those calculations finished fast. He attempted to sketch an action plan in his head. It was only as he was passing the West 9 newsagents, that his attention was diverted by one of the newspapers on the outside rack. He'd recognise that mop of curls anywhere. Taking a step backwards, he picked the paper out and unrolled it enough to read the small article. Harry Styles seen with mysterious blonde girl on La Gosier beach. Louis glanced at the rather blurry photograph and choked on an incredulous laugh. Sources say the two seemed intimate - with Harry often cuddling the lucky lady or carrying her around on his back. Mr Styles, who is rumoured to be dating US model Karla Berghaus, is currently filming the fifth series of the popular crime drama "Changing Horizons" in Guadeloupe. We wonder how Karla will react to seeing her b... Louis shook his head incredulously and then laughed again, "how embarrassing," he muttered to himself. As he had a quick flick through the rest of the paper he saw there was even an article of himself out with Lorena last night. They must have added that particular article right before going to press. Unable to help himself, he took the paper inside and paid for it. After all, Harry's article was comedy gold and had to be made fun of. Just as he was exiting the shop, hand midway through pocketing his change, his phone vibrated;

>Liam: Going 2 b l8 in. Charlies not well. Taking him 2 doctors

Louis waited until he was on the station platform before replying - he'd long ago learned the hard way not to walk and text at the same time.

>Louis: Poor kid. Nothing too bad I hope :(

>Liam: Soph thinks its tonsil-itis

>Louis: Aww, well tell him Uncle Louis hopes he gets better soon :)

>Louis: And when he does, we'll go back and visit the penguins. Jack too.

The reply came just as the train pulled in and there was a rush forward.

>Liam: Fine bt no more stffd toys. Always tripping over them >:(

Smirking, Louis stepped aboard and had to stand near the opposite door due to the busyness of the carriage. He smiled at the business man and woman he recognised from the daily commute and turned his attention back to his phone, furiously typing back.

>Louis: Hey, we're building a collection. I take my fav. uncle duties very seriously!

>Liam: In 2yrs he'll 4get all abt them - too hooked on Xbox!

>Louis: So? Teach them about charity and donation when the time comes.

>Liam: Ugh. 1 day ur going 2 make me look like a bad father

>Louis: Not likely to happen if I'm not interested in dating. Teaching you is my outlet.

>Liam: Hmm. We got 2 talk about that sometime :| Gotta go tho, talk to you later

>Louis: Good luck with Charlie xx

Once he'd ended the conversation with Liam, he scrolled down to Harry's name. No doubt Harry would be asleep right now but he wanted to be the first one to share the hilarious news before anyone else got a chance. You'll never guess who you're apparently dating now! Check this out. He attached a snapshot of the article. Barely two minutes later, his phone buzzed. OH MY GOD O_O hahahaha!!!

Surprised, because why on earth was Harry up right now - surely it was, like, 4am or something there - Louis responded with, Wasn't expecting a reply so fast. Shouldn't you be asleep? Night shoot :( I guess someone at the Daily Fail didn't do their homework lol. Well, if it's true, and you are dating your sister, they missed the story of a lifetime!! Can see it now: Insatiable Styles turns to incest for sexual thrills! #Vomit I think if that came out you could finally sue for libel :P. Wouldn't lower myself to engage with them. Can't wait to show this to gemma tho. She'll probably wet herself. She enjoying her holiday? Too much I think - rum punch hangover every morning. Eh, you only live once. When do you finish up the scene? About another hour I think. Got the rest of the day off woohoo! Awesome! You up for a quick skype about 3 / 4 pm? That give you enough time to sleep? Yeah plenty, whichever time suits you :) Ok, see you then x Cool, have a good day at work xx