You're Making this Harder for Me

Halfway There

Jonathan's POV

I couldn't move. I felt frozen in place, and my heart skip a beat. I woke up this morning angry at Sock and here he was kissing me. I placed my hand on his shoulder, but I was too surprised to kiss back.
When he did pull away, I could feel his warmth leave and be replaced by the warmth growing in my cheeks.
He slowly opened his eyes and a blush quickly spread over his face.

"Uh. I... I guess that's my answer" he said quietly. I didn't reply. I was stunned. He looked down and rubbed the the back of his neck. "Listen Jonathan. I'm sorry. I- I just.... I'm sorry." He got up quickly and started to run out of my room. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down to the bed.
"Wait! Don't leave. Don't uh...be sorry either."  I said. We were both quiet. Every second that passed felt like an eternity.

I cleared my throat.
"Jonathan please don't think I'm weird. I feel like...this was the only way I could figure everything out." He said. He didn't look me in the eye, and I was still holding his arm. "You've always been weird, so it's too late for me to think anything different" I laughed. "And I mean, it's not like you hurt me, so don't apologize." He finally looked up at me and smiled. "Thanks hot stuff" he said rubbing his neck again. I blushed at the usual nickname and he smirked. "In all seriousness, I'm really sorry if this changes everything." He said. He looked as if a wave of depression fell over him. I took my hand off his arm.

We were silent again, but for me it didn't feel as uncomfortable as before. "This won't make me hate you or anything." I told him. "I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't change our friendship though. We-we are friends right?" I asked. "Well I just kissed you so, we're obviously not enemies." He smiled. I let out a small laugh. He brought his knees up to his chest and leaned against the wall. I did the same, and we both fell quiet again.

"Say something." He said after awhile. He didn't look at me, and traced little circles on my comforter with his finger. "I want a sandwich." I told him. He rolled his eyes. "Out of all the things to say" he said sarcastically. I smirked. "Fine then. Why was that your answer?" I asked. "What made you think, that the only way to know you didn't want me dead, was to kiss me?"

He blushed again and straightened his legs out. "I was assigned to another person, and I didn't want to befriend him like I did with you, so I decided to treat him as horrible as I could." He said. "I realized though, that the things

I told him were things I'd never tell you. That in a way, confirmed that I cared about you but, there was a possible chance that I cared for you a lot more than I thought, so I kissed you." "Well, how do you feel now?" I asked.
He was quiet for a few minutes. " I feel like I love you." he said softly. He had the faintest smile on his face but he still didn't look at me.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't remember the last time anyone said they loved me. It was almost foreign to me. "I don't know how I feel Sock." I told him. "Angry?" He asked. "No no. Far from angry." I told him. "I can't say I return your feelings though, because I've never thought of you like that."

"Ahh." He said quietly. "Then this would be considered rejection."
"Wait what?" I asked. He got up from the bed and fell face forward on my floor. "Sock! What are you doing?" I asked. I ran over to him and tried to roll him over. He didn't budge. "I'm sinking into the feeling of rejection." He said through the floor. His voice was muffled and I couldn't help but smile.

"Sock I'm not rejecting you. I'm just not sure of my feelings yet." I told him. He stayed quiet. "Sock?" I asked. He didn't answer and rolled over looking at the ceiling. "Do you like me though?" He asked. "You know, as a friend." His eyes scanned my face. "Well, yeah. We wouldn't be friends if I didn't." I told him.

He jumped up after my answer and fixed his hat. "Then you know what that means." He said walking downstairs. I was confused. "Wait." I called out. I ran downstairs. He was going through my fridge and pulling things out. "I don't know what that means."
"It means I'm halfway there." He smirked. "Grab me the lettuce." I blushed again and gave him the lettuce.

"Put on a movie." He said. I stood there for a second before going through our movies. After a little search, I threw on a horror film. We usually watched scary movies more than any other kind of movies together. Once it was on, I threw my hood on and sat on the counter.

Halfway there....

I smiled. He was right if you thought about it. I stared at Sock dance while he was making... whatever he was making. I could feel a smile tugging on my face as I watched him. He loved me and I... I...

"Here you go." Sock said. He handed me a sandwich and I didn't even realize that's what he was making because I was so lost in thought. "Thanks." I said. He smiled and plopped on the couch. I got up and went to go sit with him. It didn't take long for me to eat my sandwich. Sock made really good sandwiches.

We watched the movie in silence. Once I was finished, I put my plate on the floor and tried to keep my attention on the movie. It was hard to keep my mind wandering though. Everything that Sock had told me, how he felt, and how easy it was for his mood to change, just kind of played through my head. I looked over at him and noticed how entranced he was by the movie. I smiled.

I was confused with my feelings. I felt so many emotions, but none of it made enough sense to give me an answer on how I actually felt. He needed to kiss me so that he could know for sure about how he felt. What did I need to do?

I felt my stomach drop and twist in a million different ways as I scooted closer towards him. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder. If he could do it, and survive the awkwardness of it, then so could I. "Jonathan what's the matter?" he asked. I couldn't talk. I took his beanie off and ran my fingers through his crazy hair. He didn't back away or flinch, so I slowly pulled his face into mine and kissed his lips as softly as I could. Once he kissed back my whole body felt like sparks of electricity were running down my spine.

I put my hand behind his head and deepened the kiss. He put both of his arms around me and pulled me towards him. When we pulled away we both gasped for air and I stared into his eyes. "You're a good kisser" he laughed nervously as he pulled on his collar.
I couldn't answer because all I could do was stare into his face. He cleared his throat and put his beanie back on.

"Wow" I said quietly. Sock stared at me. "Now I feel like a horrible kisser" he said. "Why?" I asked him. "Because I practically yanked your head and slammed my face on yours." He laughed. I let out a small laugh and Sock sunk into the couch. Once again, we fell silent and continued to watch the movie. "What does this mean for us?" Sock asked after awhile.

"Us."

I smiled at the word.
"Well I'll tell you one thing." I said. "What?" he asked looking up at me.

"You aren't halfway there anymore."