"Bonjour mah chérie. Vould you like ze baguette?"
A guy wearing stripy shirt said halping meh up.
"I dunt want to sex."
"I never zaid anyzing about ze zex."
I cud tell instanty he would be frand off Poot sins he weird and French.
"I am Jacques Eiffel Tower Rosé Foie Gras Paris-Bourdeaux at your service."
What a pretentious asswhole.
"PO0T!"
I screched and he clap.
"Sacred blue! U r in America, no? Speak the Engrish plz."
"Nu!!!"
He then stucc his tip into a chainsaw and screefed.
"FUCC U POOT!!!!"
Then he died but not after I wiped his blood on my face as battlepaijt and screeched a battle cry at the dumb cheerleaders that thot they had seen the last of me.
"IS IT SOMEONES BURFDAY???? I HAVE A SURPRISE. AND BY SURPRISE I MEAN–"
I then turned dramatically to the camera (reader), whipping my luscious bald head in the way i saw 11 in stranger things do (bitchin)
"POOTPRISE."
"bich"
