Seeking 'Hope' |Suspian|

Three

At Cair Paravel's replica in True Narnia, Peter and Lucy Pevensie sat on the sea shore careless of their clothes. They hadn't changed into Narnian clothes yet as they insisted that they'll be staying on the beach for sometime. Edmund hadn't joined them yet and Mr. Tumnus and the beavers had left for some reasons, Lucy suspected, related to the rooms and their cleanliness or the dinner. She knew something was off about the High King. Being in Mr. Tumnus' company, the youngest Pevensie had developed the art of observation. Peter had been staring off at the horizon for a long time now, his brows had sunk together in thought and tightened jaw relaxed occasionally just to be held tighter again. Something was definitely wrong.

"Is something wrong, Peter?" Lucy asked placing a firm yet caring palm on Peter's arm.

"It's my mistake. You and Edmund deserved a longer, better life. Susan," he gulped as though saying her name was accompanied by pain,"she was right, Lu, we shouldn't have left." He sighed.

"Hey! Peter, I'm glad we're here, so is Edmund as so are you. I know it's not about us being here. It's because Su isn't here with us, right?" Lucy reasoned and Peter timidly nodded.

"Oh, Peter! Wasn't it you who told us to have faith in Aslan? He will mend things, Pete. He loves Susan as much as he loves us! He will bring her here, okay?"

To say Peter was abashed would be an understatement. He had always been instinctive unlike the rest of them, especially unlike Lucy. He always followed what his instincts said and usually had less of a filter on his words when his spoke in any overwhelming emotion. It was on instinct that he had cursed Caspian and called him and his father irrelevant to be called rulers or leaders. It was out of instinct he claimed that Susan was hopeless. It was on instinct that he felt a fire blaze in his insides as he saw Caspian, in his youthful glory; sturdy and fit : the man who dared scar his sister's heart. It was all on instinct.

"I guess it's time to get in our clothes. We're home, after all." Peter said dusting his formal pants and pulling his sweater over his head, to be left in a plain white shirt and khaki formals. Lucy grinned at her brother's sudden enthusiasm.

"Race you there!" She challenged before breaking into a giggly sprint.

_

Caspian suggested Edmund should go get changed and have food as he had just come back. He knew that the only reason Edmund complied was since he was in someway aware of what was troubling the Seafarer. Before abandoning Caspian, Edmund had placed a hand on his shoulder as if to reassure him that his best friend was here for him now. And here for good.

Caspian had wandered from then on. The sun was setting to the west, leaving the sky in a pinkish orange shade. Although these times were often loved by him, Caspian couldn't help but feel melancholic this particular evening. There is this thing about expectations that Caspian learnt that day, when broken they usually hurt more than a hundred swords piercing at his chest at the same time. He felt sad, no doubt, but he also felt angry. Angry that fate was never to his leisure. Angry that the ones he desired to be the most with were torn away from him, right from his father, to Susan and Rilian and now, Susan again. Angry that Aslan never seemed to understand what hurt him, or even take his feelings into consideration. Angry that he couldn't even voice his feelings for Susan in front of Aslan as he suggested Caspian to marry Lilliandil for the sake of an heir. Angry that he was such a coward! Angry of anything and everything.

Sitting by the bank of the river Rush on a huge boulder, Caspian's mind went numb. Why was he so disappointed? What was he expecting? It had been a lifetime ago that he had met the High Queen and honestly he just remembered that he had met her and had fallen unbelievably hard for her. His memory possessed the image of her blue eyes everything else had faded away. Why was he so desperate to see her? Was he desperate to see what she looked like to complete the missing details of the images in his brain? Or was desperate for the whole idea of love? He was king; and kings care about many other things than love. But before being a king he is a human, he is Caspian, the timid boy who lived in the fear of dying and fell for a bold, strong Queen. Caspian who fell for the caring, sweet yet verbally strong and an independent woman.