All Joestars have strong hands. They're basically destined to have firm handshakes. From the first Joestar to Josuke, they've had strong, masculine hands. Which sucks for me. Feminine hands, soft, delicate, small, that's what I like. So why? Why do I find Josuke so attractive? The only reason I've ever cared for someone was for their beautiful hands! It just doesn't make sense. Curse all masculine hands attached to nice bodies and pretty faces. Curse them all. How can I possibly live a peaceful life with these thoughts?! I bit down on one nail harder than I should have, and realized how badly they needed to be clipped. Looking around, I remembered something. I'm dead. Dead, confused, and in love. Curse the Joestar bloodline.
It was finally over. Kira was gone, and my town wasn't being terrorized. Finally, a chance to relax. It's a shame, though. I heard that Kira was attractive before he stole some guy's identity. Wait... Did I just think of a guy who tried to kill me as attractive? Clearly, I'm out of sorts. Getting up to grab some water, I noticed mom staring intently at me. "Are you okay?" She asked after a few moments. I nodded as I took a sip of the ice cold drink. Were my hands always this big? I waved bye to Tomoko and walked to wherever I felt like. Which happened to bring me to Okayasu. "Bro!" We simultaneously yelled. His hands were large and rough, too. Koichi was walking down the street just then, and we called him over. With another high five, this time to Koichi, I noticed that he had small and delicate hands. What's up with me and hands today? We all hung out for the day, and once I got home, all my thoughts were gay thoughts. Whether it was about how cute Koichi was, how nice Okayasu's body was, or Kira's handsome face. ... This needs to stop. Resolved to stop a crush on a dead serial killer, I started thinking about all the hot girls I knew. All that came up was Kira. You see a dude like twice and you fall in love with him. This was too ridiculous. I was just about ready to call Okayasu when I realized it.
Never tell your bro about your crush on a dead serial killer, ever. Maybe I'll just live with it...
I tried living with it, I really did. Or just ignoring it. But, every single day my thoughts were the same Kira/hand-obsessed thoughts. It was almost depressing. It seemed like Koichi was starting to notice, along with mom. Of course they would. Koichi's having some weird love triangle between Rohan and Yukako, and, well, moms are moms. Lovers know lovers (crushers). Maybe the thoughts will go away, along with the signs, if I date someone else. But, who was I willing to date? All the girls at school would kill each other if I dated one, so that's out. Some stranger off a dating website was too dangerous. Koichi and his "friends" were already together. So, who did I know who was single and tolerable... Of course! Okayasu, obviously. Everyone would brush off the signs of my crush on Kira as a crush on Okayasu and my bro wouldn't be lonely anymore. It's a genius plan! Great, great. That night, I called my bro and asked him to meet me at Tonio's at around two. I went to bed and saw nothing but Kira and hands. I'm pretty sure there were a few cats there, too. Waking up, my clock read that it was almost noon. I only had two hours to get ready for my date! Clearly, I ran around the house trying to get ready, getting some odd stares from mom. "Going somewhere?" She called out once I was ready and reaching for the door. "As a matter of fact, I have a date!" I proudly stated. She smiled and walked off, and I began walking to Tonio's. Once I got there, Okayasu was already sitting down and crying his eyes out over the water. "Yo, bro!" I yelled. Both Okayasu and Tonio gave me hugs, and I was looked over by the restaurant owner. "You seem worried and tense. I'll whip up something right away." After that, Okayasu and I were left alone together. This was it. I needed to do this to forget about that serial killer. "Okayasu..." I whispered. He looked up confused, and I leaned forward just a bit. In seconds, we were full on making out. That escalated quickly. I heard a gasp and a dish clattering once we pulled away from each other. Apparently, Tonio saw us. "Dude... Does this mean we're dating?" Okayasu asked. I nodded before looking at the chef. He was wearing this sly grin and an 'I knew it' look. After that, I almost forgot about Kira. Almost. Every week, Okayasu and I would have a nice date, and everyone was super supportive of us. Each date, my mind drifted farther and farther from the serial killer. Months passed, and I hardly remembered his face. My obsession with hands was gone, but I developed a new obsession. It was an obsession over Okayasu.
-About two years later-
"You know what's funny?"
"What?"
"I only started dating you cause I liked Kira, but now I hardly remember his face!"
"... Dude..."
