No Way Back (a Taylor Hawkins fan fiction)

Chapter 11 - Sunday Funday

Gen stared at the ceiling of her bedroom, inspecting a hairline crack that ran from one corner of the room to just above her head. She imagined the crack spreading, spiderwebbing across the entire ceiling, pieces of plaster crumbling away and tumbling down on top of her.

She blinked. Nothing had changed.

She looked at her phone. 1:00PM. No messages. No missed calls. She blinked again. Yesterday seemed like an age ago. She had cried herself into a fitful sleep and awoke feeling unrested, feeling nothing at all. She had cried not only because she was convinced that her time with Taylor was over before it had even begun, but because she felt frustrated and angry that this was happening to her again. This was not Gen's first rodeo. She'd been here before - the tumultuous, exciting, passionate and ultimately devastating rollercoaster ride of dating a celebrity. The last time it had happened it had been on another continent, but with the old wounds freshly opening it felt as though it had happened in that very room at that very moment all over again. She knit her brows, suddenly angry. What had she done to piss of the universe so much?

The phone buzzed in her hand and she thought her heart might explode. She raised her hand to look at the screen. Rachel. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

Yo roomie, are you in there?

Gen flung one leg over the side of the bed and paused. She had to get up. With what felt like Herculean effort she dragged herself off the bed and into standing position and shuffled to the door. She opened it just as Rachel was entering the hallway from the Kitchen.

"Uh oh," Rachel said, taking in her roommates disheveled appaearance. Gen's lip began to quiver though she tried to fight it. Rachel hurried down the hallway and put her arms around her friend.
"This calls for some Sunday Funday day-drinking, doesn't it, Vieve?"
Gen let out a shaky laugh, pulled back and nodded vigorously.
"Alrighty - get some proper clothes on and I'll spackle my face. Let's do this."

Gen smiled and was filled with genuine gratitude; Rachel was the queen of pulling her out of these miserable episodes. She hurried to her room and pulled off the clothes she'd fallen asleep in, replacing them with a fresh pair of light denim shorts and a lose-fitting grey tank top. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and tousled her bangs, scowling at her puffy face in the mirror above her dresser. This would have to do. She pulled a large pair of gold-rimmed sunglasses from a basket on her bedside table and made her way to the front door, grabbing her purse from the hall table. Rachel swung out of the bathroom with a grin on her face and her phone in hand.

"Potential plan!" she announced. "Miley has offered to pick us up if he can join Sunday Funday." She was referring to her sometimes-sort of-on-again-off-again-pseudo-boyfriend Michael Miley, drummer of Rival Sons. "I realize he is both a man and a drummer - and that these are two things we don't like right now, HOWEVER, if he picks us up, we have a designated driver and can get day-drunk to our heart's content. ALSO, the man is surprisingly good at girl talk." She smiled wide and raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"That's fine. You know I like Michael." Gen replied. In truth she had always liked Michael, and wished the two of them would get their act together, but they seemed content in their bizarre romantic arrangement.

"Excellent news!" Rachel exclaimed. "He's in the Valley jamming with some dude so he's close by." Her phone chimed again. "He'll be here in five."

The girls headed outside to have a cigarette while they waited.

"So what did he do?" Rachel asked, seriously. Gen explained to her yesterday's reality check on Venice Beach, Taylor's uncertainty, and the fact that she hadn't heard from him since. Rachel nodded along, taking it in.
"I see where your head is," she said when Gen finished. "You're back in the UK up in that gorgeous head of yours, and I get it - but we don't know what's going to happen here. You've got to try not to unload that baggage on this."

Gen cringed. Rachel's words stung, but she was right. Before she could respond Michael's beat up Volkswagon sputtered up in front of the apartment complex.

"Ladies!" He called to them. "Your chariot has arrived!"
The absurdity of this statement broke the tension and the girls laughed as they ran over to the car. Gen squeezed in the back as Rachel hopped in the passenger seat.

"Hi Miley," Rachel purred giving Michael a quick kiss hello.

"Hey Babe," he smiled and turned to the back seat, "hey Vieve, thanks for letting me join Sunday Funday."

"No problem," she responded, "it's nice of you to drive."

"Yeah," Rachel interjected. "Now we can get obliterated in daylight hours and you have to suffer through it." She said, batting her eyelashes at him innocently.

"Wouldn't be the first time," he chided as he pulled onto the road. "I assume we're going to The Abbey?"

"Where else?" Rachel cried. "We need Bloody Marys and gay men!"
Gen and Michael laughed and they set out towards West Hollywood.

***

Two Build-Your-Own Bloody Marys later, Gen was feeling more like herself. Michael and Rachel were the perfect companions and had her in stitches with hilarious anecdotes. At a lull in conversation, Gen pulled her cigarettes from her purse, along with her phone. She looked at the screen. No message. She imagined Taylor with his son and daughter. Playing in the yard, jumping in the pool. Her shoulders sank.

"Hello there handsome!" Rachel called to a nearby server, sensing the shift in Gen's mood. "We're going to need some tequila shots over here pronto!"

"I'm sorry. I'm being ridiculous, I know," Gen sighed.

"Drummers are Dicks," Rachel replied matter-of-factly. "Tell her, Miley!"

"We really are," Michael nodded solemnly.
Gen laughed again and three tequila shots were delivered and happily taken. She looked at her phone again.

"Nope!" Rachel cried, snatching the phone from the table and dropping it into her purse. "Consider this confiscated. It's a dangerous weapon."
Gen pouted but didn't object. She knew Rachel was right. She shook her head and shifted her focus intently on her friends and the drink in front of her. After about an hour more at The Abbey they headed to Santa Monica for a change of scenery, Michael being a patient and generous chauffer to the two giggling girls as they clumsily made their way across the beach, plopping themselves in the sand. They spent the remaining hours of the fading sunlight laughing at passerby, throwing clumps of sand at each other and building lopsided castles.

"Ladies," Michael began as the sun sank into the water, "I gotta get to practice. You all set to head home?"

"Burgers." Gen replied, nodding, a thoughtful look on her face.

"She's right!" Rachel said, slinging her arm around Michael's shoulders and gazing at him longingly. "In-N-Out on the way?" She batted her eyelashes.

"How could I possibly resist a request like that?" he said, pulling her to him and kissing the tip of her nose. Gen's stomach dropped as she watched the sweet exchange.

Thirty-five minutes and two double-doubles later, Gen and Rachel sat on their balcony with fountain drink cups and cigarettes in hand.

"Thank you for today," Gen said earnestly. Rachel just nodded in response. "Can I have my phone back?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes but dug into her purse to comply. Gen cautiously took the phone from her outstretched hand. Two new messages. Her stomach lurched. One from her mother. One from Jerry.

"I think I'm gonna lie down," she said.
She got up hastily as Rachel looked on. She made her way to the bathroom. Washed her face, scrubbing until her skin was raw and red. She grabbed herself a glass of water and took two advil as a pre-emptive strike against the hangover she was sure she had earned. She slipped out of her clothes and crawled into bed. As she lie there in the silence, she began to hum the melody to one of her favourite songs from the Foo Fighters' Wasting Light record. She smiled sadly to herself at the sheer irony of it's lyrics.

"I should have known
I've been here before
I should have known
Don't want it anymore
One thing is for certain, I'm still standing here
I should have known

Lay your hands in mine
Heal me one last time..."