Color My Senses Cherry Red

Chapter 11

Everything feels better now that Niall knows. Whenever Zayn gets a sweet text from Liam (and he gets several a day), he doesn't have to lie about who's making him smile like a lovesick idiot. Niall rolls his eyes, laughs at him and generally teases him a lot about how sappily in love he is, but he doesn't do it in a mean way. Zayn can tell Niall is happy for him; glad that Zayn has finally found someone he's really comfortable around.

When he tells Harry and Louis about the night at the pub and the events thereafter, Harry's mildly offended that Niall has already met Liam while the two of them haven't even seen him, and demands to be introduced at some point. Zayn agrees and promises Harry he'll meet him as soon as they're 'official'.

Because despite the fact that they've been on several dates now, they're still not really together. Or at least Zayn doesn’t think so. Actually, he's not quite sure what they are and how that whole relationship thing works anyway. When do relationships start? After the first kiss, the first sex? Is that a thing you discuss or do you go from dating to relationship by silent mutual agreement?

Zayn suddenly wishes things were as easy as they used to be in primary school. Back then, it was enough to hold hands with someone and you were considered a "couple".

But then… does it really matter? He likes Liam, Liam likes him. They're spending a lot of time together, getting to know each other, and if things are meant to work out (and Zayn really, really hopes they are), everything will fall into place in its own time.

A busy week and a half passes after that night at the pub. Despite the fact that Zayn has several tests at uni, as well as two nights and a whole weekend of porn scenes to shoot, he manages to find some time for Liam. They talk and laugh, hold hands and share kisses that turn increasingly passionate, and just have a good time together. Zayn is in heaven; everything finally seems to work out perfectly.

They go out again that Wednesday night, and after dinner and a movie, they spend three hours snogging in Liam's car. Their lips are bruised and kiss-swollen, hands wander and Zayn is hard the entire time.

But they still don't go any further.

It isn't Liam's fault, however. Liam wants more; Zayn can tell. It is obvious in the way he looks at him, kisses him, touches him. There's a desperation in his whole demeanour that wasn't there before, and Zayn knows it's time to take this further. And Zayn wants to; he really does. He's been having the most perverted sex dreams about Liam for days now; dreams that make him blush with their graphic details. But whenever Liam makes an attempt to ask Zayn to come home with him after a date, some sort of block seems to go up in Zayn and he presses their lips together to prevent Liam from asking. When Liam's hands move down to his crotch, Zayn threads his fingers through Liam's or pushes it under his shirt instead, not letting him touch him more than he already has.

He's not sure what it is, but for some reason, he does everything in his power to keep Liam from getting what he wants.

When their lips are swollen and red and literally hurt, they decide to call it a night and both return to their respective homes more than a little sexually frustrated. After he's taken care of what is now almost a permanent erection, Zayn stares up at the ceiling and wonders what's wrong with him; why he won't let this happen.

He wants Liam. He wants him badly; more than he's ever wanted anything in his life. He wants to rub himself all over Liam, have him touch him everywhere and try things with him he's never even dreamed of doing before. Liam's all he thinks about day and night. But whenever they get to the point where Zayn could have Liam, he stops it.

Why won't he just let it happen? When Liam's hands start wandering, Zayn tenses up and his mind is screaming at him to stop. Yet he has no idea why.