The Life That I Have

Chapter 20

It was freezing. No matter where you went, when you breathed it would come out as an icy steam. The wind was screaming and howling all around the castle.

  Anya hugged her knees close to her, trying to keep warm. Denise was taking Anya on as a sort of apprentice, because if anything ever happened to Denise, the Maquis would still need a doctor.

  At that moment, they were taking a break. Anya was so hungry. The food had been put on tight ration, allowing less than one and a half slices of bread each. The one thing they weren't short of was water; all you had to do was to take a mouthful of ice! Of course it wasn't exactly like taking a mouthful of hot coffee, but it did quench your thirst. Anya's only solace was platting and un-platting her hair oven and over again.

  As the days passed, Anya learnt more and more about medicine and first-aid, until one day Denise declared that she could almost be passed as a doctor.

Anya was just changing the dressing on a man's arm when Jean-Marc ran up to her.

  "Anya, there's something wrong with Denise! She's collapsed!"

  Anya swore under her breath as she ran to the small room where Denise was lying, wrapped in a blanket. Cautiously, Anya felt her forehead.

  "Denise? Denise can you hear me?" she asked. Denise opened her eyes and nodded. Anya sighed with relief.

  When she had examined her, Anya went to Jean-Marc with her diagnosis.

  "A bad case of 'flu, I think. What can you expect in this weather? Keep her as warm as you can– light a fire."

  Jean-Marc grimaced.

  "I know, but we can't help it. Also, keep her in as much isolation as possible."

  "That will be difficult."

  "I know, but we've got to try."

  Anya strolled outside, pleased with herself for giving a certain diagnosis. That's when it hit her– while Denise was ill, she was the doctor. People would rely on her. Suddenly, she felt totally inadequate.

  Rudi could see how she was feeling and tried to comfort her.

  "There's a rumor going about camp that Britain's made a breakthrough," he said cheerfully.

  "Cæsar, beware the ides of March," she said tonelessly. 

  "Huh?"

  "The ides of March. It's my birthday."

  "What is?"

  "The fifteenth of March. The day Julius Cæsar was killed. It's my birthday," she explained.

  "Oh. I'm not very good at history. How old will you be?"

  "Twenty."

  Somebody near them sneezed, which brought Anya's good mood crashing down.

  "Oh, no. Looks like this 'flu is spreading. that's the last thing we need."

  "But it's only 'flu," Rudi pointed out.

  "Influenza can be nasty, especially when it's cold like this. Just look at Denise. If half the Maquis are laid up and there's an attack, what will we do?"

  "Stop worrying. Look, you get some sleep."

  Nodding, she went and curled up beside the fire someone had lit.

It was about three in the morning when Anya felt someone shake her awake.

  "The British pilot is ill," she hear someone whisper to her.

  Jolting awake, she asked:

  "Which one?"

  "The young one with his arm..."

  Not wanting to hear anymore, she sprang up and ran to the small room where Derek slept.

  "Go," she ordered the man.

  Laving obediently, Anya found herself in alone with Derek, who was in a bad way. He was deadly pale and icy cold to touch.

  She concluded that his broken arm had got infected, and he had a bad case of the influenza on top of it. She had enough medical knowledge to know he would not last long.

  She leaned forward and kissed him gently. At that moment, he gave a little gasp and became still.

Anya stormed outside and threw her white coat on the ground. A puzzled Rudi followed her.

  "What's up doc?" he asked.

  "For God's sake, don't call me that!" she snapped.

  "Why not? What's happened?"

  She started to sob again.

  "Derek is dead. He died, and there was nothing I could do to help him!"

  He stepped forward and hugged her.

  "No-one could have saved him."

  "But you don't know that, do you? If Denise wasn't so ill then maybe..." she was crying to hard to finish her sentence. All she could do was to shake her head.