Little Diary

Another Sad Story

All was silent except for a few fake tears coming from behind me. 

They don't care.

 Not really. 

None of them do. 

They just pretend to, so that they look good in front of everyone else who actually does care. 

The wind whipped at my cheeks, and I felt a warm liquid streaking down my face, slowly turning cold as ice as it traveled down from my eyes. I didn't know why I was crying now. Why I was crying when I know that they're gone, and there is nothing I can do. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, for it didn't make sense to cry now.

***

When I heard of what happened, I sat in the hallway of my school, staring at the polished white tile floor. 

Not a single tear left my eye.

 When I visited them in the hospital, they were lying there still... as still as if they were simple, inanimate objects. Just staring at me. I stared right back. Right back into their slowly collapsing souls. 

Not a single tear left my eye.

***

Now I was sitting here on the damp ground. My brain felt hot and cramped, yet my face stung, cold and bitter. I let my mind wonder back to those last few days.

***

I can still remember that hospital. Every detail. 

I remember the smell. 

The smell of life and death. A perfect balance of new and old. Old and new. 

I remember the way it looked. 

the clean opaque walls, the shining white floors, a lonely wheelchair here and there. 

Lonely.

 If there was one way to describe that place it was lonely. If there was one way to describe how I felt while I was there it's lonely. If there is one way to describe the way I feel now, it's lonely. If there is one way to describe life...

the world...

my life... 

my world...it's lonely. 

I remember the way the hospital sounded. 

I was full of the moans and tears of patients and their families. Filled with the slow clop clop clop of high heeled shoes down the squeaky clean corridors. Sprinkled with the beeps and screeches of machinery. Nonetheless, everything was always silent. Even out of all of this I remember one thing the most. 

I remember the way I felt. The sadness, shock, the anger that I felt, when that heartless... 

soulless...

emotionless doctor, 

turned away as he told me that my parents were going to die.