Beware & Take Care

Beware & Take Care [3/3]

The faint sound of music stirred Jung Hoseok from the cloudy world of restless dreaming. Feeling as if a lead blanket had replaced his own, he tried to ignore the emerging real world and stay under the blackness of sleep as long as he could. As he was becoming more and more aware of his own processing of thoughts, though, he knew it was inevitable and it was time he actually acknowledge the daytime. Shifting uncomfortably, he pulled his earbuds out from where they'd tangled themselves under his head and realised that was where the music he was hearing was coming from-- it was the playlist he'd put on the night before to help him fall asleep.

With effort, he felt his eyes wearily open and finally accept that he was awake. He squinted awkwardly in the direction of his phone, annoyed by just how bright the sunlight in the room was, and fumbled to turn the music off. He sighed loudly, using the bend in each of his wrists to wipe the sand from his eyes. "Yah," he vocalised, not entirely sure who would respond, clearing his throat of what the stillness of sleep brought, "anyone else still here?"

No response.

Opening his eyes fully, he glanced around the room at the rest of the beds. Empty. Unmade, except for Seokjin's. He spotted bunched blankets, stuffed animals, flat pillows, and a piece of clothing here and there, but no fellow Bangtan members. The sensation of being the only one still sleeping was strange to him; he tended to be early to rise, sometimes being the one to run around and wake everyone up with some kind of purposely-obnoxious outpouring of energy. Not today, though; today, he awoke only to the jumbled thoughts in his own head.

"Good morning," he greeted the still air, sitting up and stretching lightly. He would have made a bigger motion of spreading his arms if it weren't for the ridiculous amount of soreness his body was reporting back. "Oh, I think I got hit by a bus," he mused, squirming slowly to try to figure out the worst parts of it. He swung his feet over the side of the bottom bunk and made to stand, pain shooting up through his legs. "Aish," he breathed out, finally lengthening and standing at his full 177cm. It seemed his body was punishing him for his spontaneous practice the night before.

Running one hand sleepily over his bare chest and adjusting his gym shorts with the other, he began to process what lead to what. One by one, the hours of yesterday evening came back to him; he felt a slight sinking sensation in his heart when he recalled how upset everything had made him and how small he'd been feeling. Admittedly, though, the night's sleep had done its job-- as it usually did for Hoseok-- and he woke up feeling refreshed and ready to attack the brand new day. Perhaps not with his usual gusto, but he could at least take everything a step at a time. After continuing his usual morning routine, emerging some time later clothed, showered, and freshened up, he remembered the comforting reason he'd been able to fall asleep at all: Park Jimin's persistent concern.

With a soft smile threatening to play on his lips, Hoseok got his phone from the bedroom, unplugged it from its charger, and moseyed out into the kitchen. He peered around at the empty apartment dormitory, curious where his groupmates had gotten off to. It wasn't necessarily a day off for them, but nothing in particular was scheduled either, so they were generally left to their own devices. Noticing even their manager wasn't around at all, he figured everyone was doing something productive and had kindly let him rest after his night of emotional coping.

He suddenly harbored a twinge of guilt in his chest, feeling a bit embarrassed for his impassioned reaction. It wasn't like him to close off like that, and he knew-- especially from Jimin's barrage of messages-- that he'd made everyone else worry. Being the type to gain strength from bringing life to those around him made him unable to internally handle negativity quite as smoothly as the others; due to that, he'd built a very strong wall around his heart, something that shielded him from being brought down by everyday woes. That wall had been severely damaged, though, and he'd felt his only reprieve was to completely retreat into himself. While it took a lot to get to him, once that limit was reached, his immense sensitivity would take over-- and, for exactly that reason, he looked back on the evening with disdain.