Light fifty shades

Cнapтer 14 |•| wanтιng мore

Have you ever been in a situation where you just agreed to do something so crazy that if your family or best friend found out, they would probably send you to the mental hospital? And then you suddenly realize that you don't even know why you agreed to do it?

No? Well I did.

Now the idea of being christians submissive, no wait... Just even thinking of being a submissive might be crazy for any living human being; (well except people whoa are dominant/submissive, obviously)

To be honest, I don't even know why I agreed to be Christians submissive, I don't even have experience.

Besides the fact that me and Christian have had sex, I'm still not even close to being qualified as a sex expert, let alone a submissive.

A part of my mind blames my inner goddess, who if you haven't guessed is a horny bitch. The moment she gets a chance to have any sexual interaction with Christian, she practically pounces at it.

I know it's kind of weird to talk about it in a third person point of view, even if she is a part of who I am.

Well, more like a person I've become. All thanks to the 'master' himself, Christian.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the ringing sound of my phone.

Without even sparing a glance of the caller ID, I answer.

'Hello' I answer, not quite sure who it is.

'Hello, Ms. Steele.' I instantly freeze. Holy crap, it's Christian. Just as I was thinking about our current situation, huh, fate must really like teasing me.

'Hi, Christian..I mean sir, is there a reason you called?' I answer quickly correcting myself.

'Yes, actually. I know where still in a position of discussion, but my mother is throwing Mia her birthday party. My persistent mother asked me to invite you. Since Elliot is bringing Kate, I decided I should bring you.' I'm completely shocked, I recollect myself and answer.

'Um, when is your sisters party?' I wouldn't mind going, I'm actually thrilled I get to meet his sister. However I'm still fazed about the whole arrangement between me and Christian.

'It's on on Friday. After school, of course.' I contemplate on whether I should go or not. It's not that o don't like Christians sister, I haven't even met his family, and to make matters worse; I'm going to be his submissive.

But I really can't blame Christians family, and his mother seems to be a nice lady, that's thrilled to meet me. I also can't be rude and ignore Mia's invitation to her party. Plus, Kate's going, so I won't be all alone.

'Yes, I can go. I'll see you their.' I hope i don't regret my decision.

'I can pick you up at 5.' I gulp, a sudden Idea pops in my head.

'Okay, I was wondering if you can give me and Kate a ride?'

'Of course.' Phew! Thank god for that.

'I'll talk to you later.'

'Okay, I'll see you later.' And I hang up.

Im really screwed.

1) I'm still confused about this submissive role.

2) I have to go to Mia's birthday party.

3) I'm meeting Christians parents.

And 4) I feel so nervous about #1.

I'm glad, trust me to be his new sub, but it's not what I want with Christian.

I want MORE with Christian. To be able to kiss him freely, to be able to label him as mine.

I want to get jealous when other girls look at him like  the last cookie on the plate. I want Christian to say that I'm only his and I'm only his.

I want to tell Christian that I love him and not get the silent Christian.

But what I want the most is for him to say it back. To admit I'm much more than just a submissive to him.

But the truth is not always how we want it to be.

And then again I'm really confused, of my feelings, and our arrangement.

But one thing I know is

I want more with Christian. And deep inside I know he doesn't want the same.