This Was The Most Fun I've Ever Had

And all of a sudden, my ray of sunshine was gone

Dan leaned his head against the closed door of is bedroom. The black tie hung loosely around his neck.

"I can't do this," he thought to himself

He yelled out, punching the door.

"I can't do this, not without him," he whispered. Because, the only person that Dan wanted to talk to about the death of his best friend, was his best friend.

If Dan had had his way he probably wouldn't have even gone to Phil's funeral. Phil always hated funerals, hated seeing people sad, wearing black. Of course, Dan always laughed it off, probably made some sarcastic remark which would make the corner of Phil's mouth twitch. Dan would give anything in the whole world just to see Phil smiling again.

He slowly walked up to the podium and unfolded his piece of paper. He cleared his throat.

"Phil Lester, was not only an amazing person, he was my best fri-." Dan stopped to swallow back the emotion that had been bubbling up inside of him for so long.

"Sorry," he apologized, "He was my best friend. Phil was the most kind, considerate, caring, smart and funny person that I have ever met. He touched the lives of everyone who ever knew him, and, although our paths weren't destined to cross over for long, Phil will be there for each and everyone of us until it is our turn to join us. He will guide us through our own stories, just like he's always done. I knew Phil Lester for 7 years, not nearly enough time to get to know him extremely well, but we all think that we have forever, and yet just enough of that time to never forget him. 

Phil," Dan said, directing his gaze to the sky, "I know I always said that the concept of heaven was a ridiculous idea, but if there is someplace up there, you deserve to be there more than anyone else. Thank you."

Dan bit down on his lip hard. Trying not to cry, he returned to his seat. His eyes were already starting to sting. Phil's funeral felt like closure. But Dan didn't want closure. He wanted his best friend.

At around 3am the morning after the funeral, Dan woke up in a sweat, he got out of bed shaking and went into Phil's room.

"Phil, it's the same nightma-," he stopped short. Phil's room was the same as he'd left it, just under a week ago. Dan walked over to the toy lion sitting on Phil's bedside table. Dan broke down sobbing. "I'm sorry, Phil. I'm so sorry. You were always there for me but when you needed me I wasn't there!" Everyone told him that Phil's death wasn't his fault. That it was an accident. Dan couldn't, and wouldn't believe them. Still clutching tightly to the only physical memory left of his best friend, Dan crawled into Phil's bed. He whispered softly, "This was the most fun I've ever had."