Carry On My Wayward Son : Dean

way past saving

❝I'm way past saving.❞

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The only thing I hate about Dean is how much he hates himself. It makes me so sad to hear him talk so lowly of himself to other people, and deny the fact that he actually hates himself to Sam.

In season 4 (I think), with the Famine horseman, we got a glimpse of how much Dean truly hates himself. He didn't want anything, not cheeseburgers, not alcohol, not sex (and we all know he loves all three of those), he really just wanted to be normal, and to be loved. That's all Dean ever wanted.

In season 1, all Dean was looking for was his father's approval. He knew Sam was John's favourite, and that's why he took such care of the boy (and also the fact that family is everything to Dean).

So, now in season 10, in the episode Girls, Girls, Girls to see him tell Cole that he was way past saving, and that he actually hates himself, it broke my heart. But, when Sam brought it up, he denied it. He always denies it when Sam asks.

Because he doesn't want Sam to worry.

-kim (smolderholders)