Seatmate.

I really don't like this kind of feeling, knowing that I shouldn't...

That forbidden feeling, yung alam mo na hindi naman dapat.

Ang hirap e, ang hirap mag pretend, mag adjust, makibagay, makisama na alam mo naman na mas tama yun para sa kanila pero I didn't consider my feelings - in short MYSELF. I should be selfless, for their sake. (︶︹︺)

In the first place, I really don't care... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Actually, natatawa nga lang ako sa mga classmate ko na may gusto dun, like duh?! (¬_¬)>

Ano ba meron? Alam ko na pogi sya and all that but... Ganun ba talaga ka'catchy person sya? Hmm...

Alam ng lahat na yung bestfriend ko may gusto sa seatmate ko, which is true, at first I didn't care at all, but there's this sudden feeling na just woke up with that feeling na hindi naman dapat which is NAGKAKAGUSTO na rin ako sa kanya, o(≧∇≦o) hindi ko masabi sabi sa bestfriend ko, I don't know if this is a betrayal or what I don't care I should stop this but I couldn't, I know I need to stop this for my bestfriend, I SHOULD REMIND MYSELF that he'll just remain as my SEATMATE.ヽ('ー')ﾉ

Nothing more, nothing less. After all, yung bestfriend ko naman talaga nauna, nakikiepal lang ako, I don't know when and why, and I don't wanna know, I put all my efforts on looking for a cure to stop this. I don't like this development of feelings, I shouldn't be there at all. Pero wala e, iniintay ko na lang mag end yung semester and look for a better way na hindi ko na sya magiging seatmate or much worse - classmate. Ayoko syang nakikita, lalo akong nahihirapan e.

Iba yung feeling kapag pinupush ko sila ng bestfriend ko, ヾ(-_-;) masaya ako for her kasi kahit in a small way nagiging happy sya, pero I don't know. Pakiramdam ko tuloy this is a sin. I hate this feeling. (TεT)

He's the type of a guy na you wouldn't actually expect a lot, but when you really get to know him more, there's no turning back on unliking him because there's no way; ╮(︶︿︶)╭ maybe there is but it'll give you a hard time.

Ngayon alam ko na yung hirap, kailangan ko mag give way, wala rin naman akong karapatan, there's this urge that I need to do this, because I need to pour things out of my mind, I need some space, it messes up my mind, my hypothalmus is malfunctioning, I don't like this either.

But let me state everything I know about him: \(♡~♡)/

I like the way he talks, the way he smiles, the sudden quirky guy, the way he look at me (I know there's no other meaning but yes he's good looking ) the way he laughs, the way he writes his name, the way he ask me things, the way he approach me when he needed something ヘ(^o^ヘ) the way he explains and teaches me, the scent of his clothes, the way he set his hair in either ways, the way he gave me things, the way he shows and share little things, he is so kind and gentle, you'll never know once you know him that deep. Maybe these are the reasons that I fall for him. (*ﾉ'□')ﾉ AND I HATE THOSE, every. single. time. Nahihirapan ako e, okay na yung hindi kami nagpapansinan siguro pero ganun talaga e, lagi na lang may paraan, SUSUNDIN KO NA LANG YUNG PAYO NYA SA PIMPLE KO... (o'･_･)っ

"Mahalin mo, tignan mo mawawala din yan."

Do you think I should take the risk?

I don't think so, iba na yan e, wag na lang nga, lalo lang akong naguguluhan, papahirapan ko lang pala sarili ko. Nevermind.

Meron pa ngang time na nagbitaw na hugot na...

"Okay lang yan, basta ikaw, kahit gaano katagal maghihintay ako."

Natawa na lang ako (*≧▽≦) kasi that time sabi ko mauna na sya magpasa wag nang intayin yung paper ko. I know I shouldn't give any meaning about that.

But what should I do? E may gusto nga ako sa kanya, hays I dont know kung kikiligin ba ako or nah? Ang gulo diba? Lagi ko kasing iniisip ang magiging feelings ng bestfriend ko. OO I THOUGHT OF HER EVERY SINGLE TIME ヽ(°◇° )ノ

So ayun nga, eto na ang problem...

Should I fight for this? Should I let my feelings grow? Do I have the guts to stop myself for liking that guy? Should I forbid myself towards happiness?

MY OWN HAPPINESS?

Eto na ba yung mga sinasabe nila na...

"Take the risk if it is for a good cause."

I hope it will work, ititigil ko na tong kahibangan na to.

Seatmate.

Hanggang dun na nga lang ba? HANGGANG DUN NA NGA LANG DAPAT ang tingin ko sakanya, dapat hanggang dun lang din. Kahit pa pafall sya (nagfefeeling lang talaga ako lol ⊙﹏⊙). This is challenging. Sana hindi magalit sa akin bestfriend ko once she knows the truth. I don't like to lose her that's why I don't have the guts to tell her that, because I don't like to take the risk of losing our friendship. (━┳━＿＿━┳━)

Sana maintindihan nya ako...

Seatmate, hanggang dun ka na lang please.